Feb. 16 - March 1

an extra, because we're beautiful, and this one includes Steph:

Monday the 16, Stephanie and Sophia came home from their 4 day weekend in Provo with their boys. i was happy that they got to go, but happy to have them back, as well :)

just plain love these girls. this picture was totally candid, Sophia caught this for snapchat, and i made her save it because i loved it!

that week, my roommate hosted a Mary Kay party, and our boys were awesome and came to support her:

this is what happens when i'm bored in class:

Friday the 20, Stephanie's boyfriend Connor came up for the weekend. we all love that boy.
He and I had many a Harry Potter and DC conversation. We're very similar, and i think it was meant to be that Steph and i room together the past several months, so that Stephanie can learn to love all of the things that we do similarly that drive her nuts, haha.

Saturday the 21,

our ward (congregation) had an activity similar to one i've done at Girls Camp. some people call the "Iron Rod" walk. long story short, there's a rope that serves as an obstacle course/guide rail and you have to follow it a midst obstacles to lead to a destination. 

sounds weird, but it's super inspiring. and it helped me feel more connected to my ward. 

here's a sun-filled post-cry photo from that windy day:

That Sunday we had Stake Conference and it was AMAZING. I got to see several old friends and catch up with them. I got to feel God encouraging me to be better. 

my favorite speaker was a Deaf girl who also had MS, but was super positive about it all. she didn't even speak about hearing impairments or MS, she talked about families and scriptures. She was passionate and funny, and i'm grateful for her example. I love feeling uplifted. 

Monday the 23:

I taught about Instruments in preschool, and it was a blast. 

we had a really unintentionally racist Asian night for FHE. complete with fried rice and Karaoke. haha. 

each of the apartments did a number together. our apartment started the night off with a really high bar in a rousing rendition of  "a girl worth fighting for" from Mulan

I hate karaoke. i think it's awkward. So to avoid us all standing up in front of a crowd singing off key, i decided that we'd march all around the room like an army. 

hahahahahahahha:

MY APARTMENT IS SO COOL

the other girls did a gansta Taylor swift remix. 

and the boys were a boy band. surprise! haha. 

adorable. 

cutest. 

then we ate fried rice and talked. twas fun. this is a good group. 

Tuesday the 24, this photo of me was posted by the dear Sophita:

just various faces of Melissa Hansen.
and yes, sometimes i read my scriptures in the bath tub. It's a quiet place.

 last weekend, Stephanie's parents came up to visit to see the school play, because Stephanie made the costumes.  (#37 on the list of things that Stephanie kicks trash at: costume design and construction) Sophia and i LOVE stephanie's parents. we stayed with Stephanie for a few days over New Years break, and Stephanie's mom, Kathy, just took us under her wing. WE LOVE THAT WOMAN. here she is giving Sophia boy advice. it was wisdom if I've ever heard any.

Saturday night, I actually painted  my nails! correction, SOPH painted my nails. haha. 

Sunday the 1 of March, we had a Regional Conference. ALSO GREAT. L.Tom Perry spoke to us, and was hilarious. He also just made me feel really known and appreciated. Apostles of God seem to have that affect on me.

all joking aside, that man empowers me.

that evening, Jonathan came over for dinner, dessert, and some consoling. Break ups are rough. So i made him potatoes in 4 varieties (Red Pontiac, Russet, Vitelotte, and Yellow Finn) with carrots, and Zucchini. mmmm. and milk. 

See that trash behind him? he took it out after he ate. and then did the dishes. 

HE'S SO GOOD. 

also, this is my roommate Sarah. she's half Cantonese half Swedish. she's a genius and a laugh riot, and i can't get enough of her. 

 Other things happened within this time frame, but they get their own posts. 

this is life lately. 

and it's been great. 

Pen Pals

Have you ever met someone and felt like they belonged in your life ages ago? I met several people in 2014 who gave me that feeling, and dear dear Rachel O was one of them. This darling girl just makes my heart happy.

She feels how the month of May looks. 

We met at Sports Camps and i immediately loved her. we became pals, and then she took a week off and i was sad. but she came back, and we had hours and hours of uplifting and connecting conversations. under pine trees behind the IPF, at lunch tables, at check ins, and late into the night in her room when we counseled on the same floor the last week of camp.

It seems like we talked about millions of things. Maybe not, but we did completely open up to each other and our conversations were the kinds that just plain knit people together. 

On the last day of Sports Camps, i packed up my things and started walking home to Cinnamon Tree, trying not to cry. Rachel pulled up in her truck and offered me a ride. i could have kissed her feet, i swear.
On the ride home, somehow we established that we would be pen pals and a states-apart book club. haha.

I think i will be grateful for that spontaneous car ride for the rest of my life, because in it i have gained a true forever friend. her letters fill me up and carry me. I hold her opinions and advice not only in the highest esteem, but dually in my heart. 

This past weekend she came to visit two of her siblings in Rexburg, and made time to see me. I WAS SO HAPPY. Sinceriously, talking to her felt like the most natural thing in the whole world. I just felt incredibly lucky to have a friend who genuinely cares so much about me and in whom i have so much confidence. One day when i see her again, i'll remember to take a decent picture together. We're both pretty stinking good looking if i do say so myself. 

until then, here is this mediocre photo:

Rachel is impressive and kind and has a magnetic personality. I adore her, and appreciate her friendship more than i can say. Her visit was the perfect ending to February, and one of the freshest breaths of air I've ever felt. We were only together for a few hours, but i felt recharged. She gets me. I love that. I value her. 

Thank you for visiting, Rachel. You're such a good human! Thank you for seeing the worth in me!

The Adventures of Annie and Cude

I love to tell stories during outdoor time in the little fort of the North playground. there's a group of 3-4 usual children who sit and listen to my stories, contributing to the plots and character development quite drastically. Their favorite tales are of a little girl named Annie, who was playing in the woods one day and found a monster. throughout the installments, this monster, who one boy named "Cude" (pronounced like "cute" but with a D instead of a T.) became Annie's best friend, and together they have many adventures, usually trying to undo the mischievous actions of the mean monster, who a girl named "Ripper". Each time i give an installment, i try to let the children tell as much of the story as possible. I pause and let them fill in the blanks, i ask them what certain people said, i ask them who was rustling in the bushes, I ask them their opinion on schemes and plans. These children's minds are incredible! I envy their ability to think so grandiosely at the drop of a hat. To me, it is magic. Hearing them contribute to the story, seeing their eyes light up when i weave their suggestions into the plot, their tiny gasps and concerned faces when Annie's in a sticky spot, that all, is magical. 

Today, Annie and Cude wanted to get to the moon! They wanted to know if it felt as nice as it looked. (an idea from one my girls). I asked each of the children listening how Annie and Cude should get to the moon. one girl said, "They should find a ladder!" A Boy suggested that they "Jump really high on the trampoline!" another offered, "Cude could throw Annie up, and Annie can grab the moon and bring it back down from the sky!" We laughed and laughed as Annie and Cude started to try using a ladder, to no avail, and then outdoor time was over and we went inside. 
I'm excited to continue the story tomorrow. 
i'm also excited to write all these down in detail. 

I looooove my jooooob. 
even though it's not technically a job, because it's a class. i'm not getting paid. in fact, i'm paying to do this, haha. 
BUT I STILL LOVE IT. 

February Whirlwind

 I forgot this photo from the Valentine's Day dinner:

Orange Hi-C because Rexburg McDonalds doesn't have Blue Powerade. sin. 

also this one, because it was from Sophia's phone, but GOLLY do we look good. 

I love this girl.

shout out  to her for making me juice and bringing me donuts after work.

saints, mah roomies. 

remember my FHE boys from last semester? maybe not. but i still love them, and still spend time with them. they make me smile. 

the other weekend, 4/6 of them were gone, so Sophia, some other friends, and I, joined the remaining boys to recreate a typical morning in Bunkhouse #16 and then we sent the panorama to the missing roommates with the teasing caption, "you're so replaceable." 

I'm on the couch in front of the window as Cameron.

the next day when his roommates returned, Trevor texted me this completely candid photo.

tell me we didn't perfectly pose as them. 

try and tell me. 

Speaking of Trevor Sweat, he wrestles on a club team here and we went to go watch him the other day. wrestling makes me queasy - so many almost broken necks! but i went because i stinking love the guy. We made him signs, and screamed when he totally thrashed his opponent. he blushed. he's kind of shy, so we definitely embarrassed him. aka mission accomplished. 

One night Stephanie and her boyfriend had a really happy day, and we all laugh-cried until 3 am because we were so happy and relieved and excited and grateful. 

#TeamConnor 

I genuinely love him like he's my own family. Steph, if you're reading this, i know me talking about your future might be feel weird since you're not engaged (yet, muhaha), but you and Connor must name one of your very future children after me, the end. 

Speaking of Stephanie, we're both teaching preschool right now, and i'm grateful for it. grateful to have someone who knows exactly how hard i work and what i think about and what i go through, etc. love this girl so much. 

several times, i've experimented with sensory materials at home before i try it out at preschool. Other times i bring home things that were a hit at preschool so that i can keep them. No, i'm not keeping the preschool's materials. i'm not a dang thief. these are things that i've made for my students that went well, so i'm keeping them to use again. the ones that don't go well i toss.

a thing that went extremely well:

SLIME.

the children LOVED it. and so did we! :)

and speaking of preschool:

***

I LOVE IT SO MUCH. 

I LOVE IT SO STINKING MUCH. 

It makes me happy. because every day, i feel more prepared to teach children of my own. I can't wait to be a mother. I can't believe that i could be trusted to raise such pure little souls, but i can't wait. 

this is me with our pet tarantula, Webby

We had a week on creatures. I taught about worms one day (AWESOME. real worms. lots of them.), and the other 2 days were about Geckos and spiders respectively. always real animals. 

the kids LOVE webby. she's in our classroom every other week. i enjoy it.

I obviously won't say any names of details, but some of the children i teach have hard lives. It just breaks my heart some days, to see them come in so visibly trodden down. It's difficult for me not to get emotional when they are so obviously just in need of love. I try to give 150% of myself for them. I can't fix their broken homes, i can't stop the bad things in their lives, but i can be a good thing in them. I can be a stable relationship, a loving relationship, i can be a person who listens to them and holds them and looks them in the eye with care and respect. I can be someone who stands up for them and protects them and helps them learn and grow. 

That makes me feel so good. 

I love teaching. 

i love children. 

I love this part of me. this mothering, nurturing part of me. 

It's crazy. 

obviously, this is nowhere near motherhood, but the way i love these children is unreal. I honestly didn't know it was possible to love another human being as much as i honestly cherish and adore these kids. I work hard for them. i pray to know what they need and how i can teach them and help them and love them. 

It's exhausting. 

But the most rewarding thing I've ever done. 

and if i love these children this much, i literally can't understand how much i will love my own babies some day. I can't fathom loving anyone more than these kids.

But every day, when their parents come to pick them up, the way they light up makes my heart long for a dear little one to look at me that way. 

no matter how much i love them during the few hours they're with me a day, they're not mine. 

they will never be mine. 

and when they see their mom or dad standing at the cubbies, it's a true, deep love. It's a look that makes you believe that families should be forever. because how in the world could a loving God break the bond that is so plain and beloved in the eyes of a reunited mother and child? 

I want to be a mother so badly. 

I can't wait.

***

__________________

Hi my sister Katrina, you're about to have a baby. literally any day now. and i am thrilled for you. you are so brave and strong!

you're such an incredible mother! I love you!

__________________

I decided that taking pictures of my current cuts and bruises is a great way to tell stories that i would have otherwise forgotten about.

this pretty much healed knee was coooooovered in cuts and bruises from a soccer fall a week or so ago. 

PSA:

CROCS (that are 3 years old and have zero traction left) ARE NOT GOOD SHOES FOR PLAYING SOCCER IN. YOU'LL PROLLY FALL AND YOUR KNEE WILL BE GRAPEFRUIT-SIZED FOR A COUPLE DAYS.

and you'll rip a hole in your roommate's super warm nice sweats, which bites. 

but you might get a cool heart-monitor looking patch of tiny scars out of it. 

so that's cool. 

more soccer bruises. 

oh yeah, hey mom, i play soccer. 

well, correction:

I play crappy goalie, and my friends are really good at defense, so i don't really ever have to worry. i also sometimes am forced to like, actually run and stuff as a halfback. I'm seriously awful, but it's actually pretty fun just to be silly with my friends in 2 degree weather.

Two in one!

A) the scab on my thumb is from belaying during a rock-climbing date.

B) the burn is from my curling iron the night of the McDonald's dinner. it burnt me in 3 places on my thumb, as well as one on my pointer finger and wrist as it fell.

we rearranged our living room the other day. it was in great need of  a face-lift. but we couldn't move the one million pound entertainment center, so i called Trevor Sweat, "Hey, Melissa, what's up" and then i heard his roommate blake talking int he background, so i knew they were both home. I said, "Hi, can you come help us move some furniture super quick?" "of course! we'll be right there."

but a second later, we saw 6 sets of legs walking in front of our window. all 6 of them had made the trek across the parking lot to help us. they did all the work in about 2 minutes, which probably would have taken us 20. and I was grateful for their help, but even more so, i was just thankful for them in general. This was the perfect example of their general love and hospitality.

Stephanie went home on Valentine's day weekend, and came back with crocs. #converted

a few months ago i put a picture of this same chapstick on my blog, explaining that i like it because i can see the balm lessening as i use it. it's like a battery icon or a power level bar. i don't know. i just relaly like it. and it's almost gone now, so i had to document it. I feel like i've accomplished the impossible by not losing a chapstick before i finish it, haha. 

McDonald's Valentines

The Monday before Valentine's Day, for our Home Evening Activity, my group decided we would dress to the nines and then go get McDonalds. AKA MY IDEA, AND THE FUNNEST FHE EVER.

we all got fancied up and then met up at my apartment, and you probably saw these pictures spamming your news feed already, but who cares. they didn't have my commentary. 

I just enjoy this picture  because it is a face that Stephanie makes 20% of the time. 

When we first got to McDonald's, everyone was staring at us, and i felt self-conscious. until the boys all got there in their suits and balanced us out. 

also, i like this picture because it's a face that IIIIIIII make 20% of the time:

Can these two please just date already? okay, thanks:

and i know that the back of my head is ridiculous, but i LOVE this picture because Travis is laughing at a joke i'm telling, and Travis is mah HOMIE. THESE BOYS ARE SO GREAT i've seriously gotten so lucky this school year with FHE boys. they've been so kind and good. 

Travis and Sophia have a real good thing going, and i'm happy to be that third wheel, because i love them both, and Travis is Sophia's boyclone, so we get on really well. 

THIS PICTURE MAKES ME WANT TO CRY.

I ADORE THESE WOMEN. 

best friends. 

God knows what He's doing, guys.

a very washed out picture of Shauny, my boyclone. 

(#sorrymomwe'renotdating #sorrymomsingle4lyfe)

this picture makes me look like i'm a sith Lord?! the lighting was not so drastic 2 seconds ago. whatever. Shaun and i matched, unplanned, and i thought it was great. He's so stinking good looking. Also, 3 cheers for someone else who puts their McChicken and Mcdouble together with french fries on top. 

Holla. 

like i said: boyclone.

Travis, Sophia, and I went to DI and got 0.50 chalices, but they forgot theirs. oh well. 

aside from my horrible posture, i love this picture. the pictures from this night are all great, because they're all so stinking HAPPY. 

This one, especially, because Sophia is the best storyteller, and she makes me laugh. 

3 ketchups. BECAUSE I CAN.

can we just appreciate the attention that Shaun and Steph are paying me? I LOVE THEM. they listen to me. actually listen. and they make me feel validated. good humans. 

full no-neck laughter happening here:

kissing a chalice. because who else?

note to future husband:

I'm sorry for the inevitable thousand ridiculous photos that will be taken at our wedding. Hopefully you're as goofy as i am, or else you're in for a potentially embarrassing time every time we have to act formal in front of a camera. sorry.  can't help it.

just bein' me. it's a good life. 

DEAR FUTURE SELF:

please never forget these lovely women that you lived with Winter semester 2015. They are such gracious souls, and they love you dearly. you love them back, fiercely. remember this. remember them. remember how happy and appreciated and known you felt, and remember that it's because you all chose as an apartment to live right. 

remember the reason why you're so close and things have been going well. 

remember that you're blessed.