Saturday, May 30, 2015

Before i left Rexburg


1. Did you read my last post? I started a new blog for me and Karl, and I'll be posting bits of of our story over there once a week until we're married in September. Mostly to wean myself off of this blog. tear tear. old friends, you know?
anyway, i posted the first part of our story yesterday! Enjoy the blow by blow.


2. I'm hopping on the back track train before i leave to Provo for BYU Sports Camps again. Care to join me?




Stephanie and I kidnapped Sophia one day, because we missed her. 












also here's just a miss mash of a bunch of random things. haha. i don't remember why i kept all of these things, but i did. so here ya go. 

snapchat. i don't know. dont' judge me. 


I miss my sophita. 


and this is Ryan Cobar. he was our lil homie all Fall and Winter semester. this is him trying to hug me goodbye. hahaha. 


OH HEY!
very very very long story short:
I'M NOT GOING DEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for literally months and months, i'd been dealing with severe pain and dizziness and nausea related to my right ear. I'd been to a bunch of doctors and specialists and none of them could pinpoint a cause. one specialist even had the gall to tell me that i was completely fine. Even though he administered a hearing test that SHOWED definite hearing lost. 
ugh. 
sorry. 
that guy is still a sore spot for me, because i saw him at Christmas and he said nothing was wrong. 

AND THEN
i finally went back to my pediatrician in Rexburg, because my preschoolers were commenting on my vertigo. "You're all wobbly today, miss melissa." okay, i have an observable problem. embarrassing. 

So i went to the doctor. and took more tests. and got more treatments. and the specialist did more tests, and showed me my charts and results and that they perfectly overlapped with other lab results that had to do with nerve damage. he took a look, and yup. 

it wasn't meniere's disease, like some other doctors thought. 
It was nerve damage.
So he gave me medication and like a light switch, i was completely fine. 

no more dizzy. 
no more pain. 
the hearing damage was permanent, but luckily it wasn't horrible, and the medication stopped it. 
i don't understand how it all works now. but when the doctor was explaining it, it all made sense and since the medication, i've literally not had a single problem aside from a plane ride, which is normal for a lot of people. 

I'M NOT DIZZY EVERYDAY. 
I'M NOT IN CONSTANT PAIN. 
I DON'T HAVE NAUSEA.
I CAN DANCE AS MUCH AS I WANT.
I CAN FULLY SUBMERGE MY HEAD UNDERWATER FOR MORE THAN 5 SECONDS AT A TIME AKA I CAN GO SWIMMING. 
I DON'T HAVE TO SIT DOWN EVERY 3 MINUTES TO CATCH MY BALANCE.
I  DON'T HAVE THINGS BLOCKING MY HAPPINESS, AND IT'S SO GREAT!!!!!





the night before many of us left, we had our last roommate council. 
aka we went around and thanked each other for everything we'd done for each other this semester.

it was real emotional. 
we all cried at one point. the prayer was real tender. i loved these girls. 
so so much. 
i wheel meece dem vedy mush. 

but really. 
that semester was incredible. 
















this was how our apartment looked on the last day:



and this was Stephanie's OOBER packed van as we headed out to P-town. 


Stephanie GRACIOUSLY let us stay the night at her house, because she's PERFECT. and the next day, we said goodbye to the trio.
these humans changed my life. 


thanks, homies. 





BYE REXBURG, YOU WERE REAL GOOD TO ME. 
SEE YA SOMEDAY. 

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

The Rest of the Story

Wow!
That last post made a splash, didn't it?! 
I got so much unexpected traffic that i literally thought Blogger had made some crazy mistake.
haha! nope! Just a lot of people interested in our story!
I'm totally fine with that!

To all of you new friends;






Hi!
I'm Melissa Michiale. I've been blogging since 2008. I refer to this blog as "The Happy Wagon" as an allusion to a theme in my favorite book by Jerry Spinelli. "Stargirl". Essentially it means that i try to see the world in a "glass half full" kind of light. Or, a Wagon with more rocks than none ;)








To the new readers and the old:

Thank you for your response to and support of that last post and my announced engagement! I/we really are so happy! 


Which leads me to my next announcement. 


I've written and loved this blog for years as if it was my private journal. Some people think i was too free with what i shared or that i was too open with my feelings and information. Maybe that was true at times, but i have never felt unsafe or regretful. Even if it was too open, it was always real! It was always me.

The thing is, because i've written here for so long, some of the posts are naturally, very old, and outdated. I don't believe some of those things i said in 2010 any more. I no longer have feelings for the boy i was crushing on in 2012. I don't feel the same way about Shia LeBouf now as i did in 2009.

You get the picture.




Lucky, i knew that would happen. So i told myself, from the day i began, that i would create a new blog when i was going to be married.

WELL, FRIENDS THAT DAY IS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN.

haha.
in case you missed my last post:

YUP! I'm getting married!

not until September, but i decided to make the separate blog now so that i can begin it with the complete and unabridged version of my love story. It's not MY full story. That would take an entire novel! (Which, don't worry, is certainly on it's way.) The new blog can tide you over until then.

How i met and fell in love with the literal man of my dreams, and our beautiful life afterward; That is what the new blog will be all about. A comprehensive journal of our future history.
THIS IS A BIG DEAL FOR ME, PEOPLE.




BUT!

Until we are actually married in September, i will still be posting frequently on this blog. The Happy Wagon. I still have a lot to document. i'm very behind. haha. 
The new blog is just for me and Karl's new life together. I'll post a more in depth version of various parts of our story there maybe once a week, until we are actually married.

So if you were looking to get rid of me, and you were about to send Karl a bouquet of flowers for being the reason why i gave up blogging, TOO BAD!! 
I'm still here to bug you. 
3 times a week until September ;)




Regular programming will resume on Friday. 

Thank you for your love!!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Karl and Melissa: A Love Story

To tell the complete story of how I fell in love would take an entire novel or two. Maybe one day that will actually happen. For now, we’ll settle for a blog post.

To my regular readers, I apologize for being absent lately. Honestly, the past two months I’ve spent most of my free time talking with my dear boy.



On with the story.
Well, the extremely summarized version of the story. 









Karl and I met in my Golden Summer In 2014 when I worked with my brother Derek at BYU Sports Camps. Karl and I lived in the same apartment complex. 
His eyes were the best kind of blue I’d ever seen, and they caught my attention. 
Slowly over the summer we became friends and did things together. We exchanged cute flirty notes and ate countless Otter Pops on cool, breezy, Sunday evenings. We laughed about sandwiches and ‘buff babies’ and I probed him about ASL and Texas. He was kind and funny and handsome. I was eager and awkward and blatantly obvious when it came to giving hints at my affection. We climbed a mountain together in Mid-July, and as we sat at the top, staring at the sunset, I knew I wanted to end up with someone like him. A boy with quiet confidence and a good heart. A Boy who loved the Gospel of Jesus Christ as much as I do. A boy who stuck to his word. He had impressed me through and through, that Karl Horlacher. 



At the end of the summer, he asked me out on our first date! 
He picked activities from my ‘Provo Bucket List’ and we spent the entire night talking and laughing as if we were old friends. It was so easy to be myself around him. 
I was struck by how natural it felt to be walking around Provo with him. I felt like he was seeing a side of me that I usually keep reserved for closest friends. It seemed like he was opening up parts of his mind that he usually kept tucked away. I felt drawn to him. He seemed interested, and I made it clear that I was interested. But we both knew that I was leaving very soon, so nothing substantial happened. 

Through the fall and winter we saw each other a few times, and each meeting was met with sincere hugs and laughter. I genuinely appreciated this boy’s heart, and I knew he appreciated mine. In late March, I was going to be visiting Provo for a job interview. I knew that I wanted to see Karl. I hoped that if I saw him that weekend, it would ‘plant a seed’ so to speak. Haha. 
I know, I’m sneaky. But I was fairly certain that I wanted to date him in the summer, so I wanted to have another positive experience with him before I went home for spring semester. So I asked him out on a date, and he cheerfully accepted. 

We went to a museum, got ice cream, and watched a movie together that we’d been trying to watch together since last summer. (“Barfi!”. It’s a Bollywood movie about a deaf man, and it’s incredible, in case you were wondering. One of my very favorites.) 
We walked to all of these places, and we had plenty of time to talk. That night, he completely surprised me by kissing me for the first time. 

He kissed me and kissed me and kissed me. 


 



– and this is where the story is going to start sounding crazy to some people - 



We spent the rest of the weekend together, catching up and figuring things out. He came up to Rexburg the next weekend to visit me at Easter. And under my dear Rexburg sky, splattered with stars, he told me that he loved me. It was the first night he was there, which again, completely surprised me. I prayed my guts out that night, and the next seven nights after that. I was certain that my feelings for him were as strong as his were for me, but I’d never said those words out loud. To a boy. In a romantic way. And I was terrified that if I said it, he would take it back or change his mind and I would look foolish. But Sunday morning, we watched the Easter sun rise over a wheat field on a hill in front of the Rexburg temple. He held my hand as we read from the New Testament about the Resurrection. I looked up at him, and I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. 



 I loved him. 
I knew he was the one. 

It terrified me, but I couldn’t deny what I plainly knew was true. So that night, just before he left back for Provo, I told him that I loved him. He said, “YEEESSSSS!!!” and I felt insanely relieved. The next weekend, we spent together in Provo. One night, I spent hours telling him my entire life story. He listened respectfully, even when I cried through some hard parts. He rubbed my back and told me how strong he thought I was. 
I knew I didn’t want to go any farther forward in my life without him with me, and I knew I wanted him with me until I couldn't count the days anymore. I told him all of that. He echoed my feelings. And we knew that this relationship, though brand new, was something rare and special.

The next 6 weeks were Skype calls and novel-length text messages. He skyped me every night to pray and read the scriptures together. On the weekends we talked for hours. I felt my heart stitching closer and closer to this dear boy. 










Karl drove out from Utah for my Brother Derek’s wedding on May 15. When I saw Karl for the first time in the hotel, I ran to him and he scooped me up into the happiest hug of my life. 
He kissed me right there in front of my whole family. We spent the whole weekend together again, and by then, all my family could see how serious we were about each other, and how real this was. Karl loved my family, and I loved him for wanting to be a part of it. 





This past Thursday, the 21 of May, I flew to SLC, for Derek’s Utah reception, but I spent all of my extra time with Karl. At Derek’s reception, Karl walked and talked with my father. Karl told him that He loved me very much and asked for his permission to marry me. My Daddy told Karl that he had his permission, his blessing, his everything. He sees that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and that we have potential to make something great of our life together. 





After the reception, on the night of May 23, we went back to Karl’s apartment. 
We were talking on the couch. Being mushy, talking about the future and how real it was all becoming. 

We talked about getting engaged this summer. 

He knows that I don’t want a big giant proposal, so he was asking me more about what I wanted. In a round-about way, so that I could still be surprised. I reminded him that I wanted it to be simple and private, and that I didn't want him to spend a bunch of money planning an elaborate scheme. I just wanted him to look me in the eyes and be sincere, and that’s all that mattered to me. He agreed with all of that. We kept talking. His brother called on the phone and we chatted for a bit. Then, after the phone call, we were alone in the living room, being mushy again. 
He said, “You really don’t want some big crazy surprise?” I said, “No, I really don’t, it’s totally fine.” He said, “okay!”



And then he reached into his pocket. 



And it clicked that he was proposing to me right now. 

He was proposing to me right now. 




I exclaimed, “wait, what?!”
He was beaming as he got on one knee and opened a gorgeous wooden box. His eyes hit mine to the core. His blue on my brown. 



His were misty as he asked, “Melissa, will you marry me?”

I laughed, “YES! A thousand times, yes!” and kissed him. 




He gently slipped his grandmother’s ring onto my left ring finger and then swept me up into a giant squeezy hug that said more than words could have even hinted at.
 I was laughing in sheer joy. I couldn’t stop smiling, which made it hard to kiss him, but kiss him I did! We were both giddy and hugging and staring at the ring and then giggling and then kissing and I couldn’t even cry, I was too caught up in pure bliss. 
Then he got on his knee again and asked me in American Sign Language. I answered back in ASL with the same exact reply as before. A new round of hugs and kisses. New laughs and smiles. I couldn’t stop staring at him. 





























Everything was perfect. 

It was a complete surprise, and exactly what I wanted. He was so proud.

Private, simple, and sincere. Our eyes and hearts and souls all connected to make the most important decision of our lives. 

I was even wearing my favorite Koala Sweater! hahaha.



My dear Karl and I will be sealed for our Time on earth, and for all Eternity after that, on September 19 in a temple of God. That’s when our real journey together begins. 








I am so thrilled. I feel so loved. This boy is literally better than I ever dared to dream for. I am proud to be his forever. I am proud to have him as mine forever. We’re a good team. I can’t wait to start our life together in a Holy Union. 
He is worth every sacrifice and struggle I've faced in order to get to this point. He is worth the wait in so many meanings. 

I have been through so. Much. To get where I am now mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It has been at times, a battle. There were times when I lost hope. 
But in Karl I have found every joy I dreamed of when days were dark. And in this boy I see all the goodness I knew was possible in a man of God. Karl is the cumulative representation of the redemption and the mercy I've received throughout my life. A witness of how far I've come and what I've made of my life. He is the bright shining hope of my future, and in him I see the companion who is perfect for me. The partner I need to help me make it back to my Heavenly Father. 


For the rest of our lives, Karl and I will climb together. 





I could not be more happy or proud of that.




Thank for your love and support along the way, friends. I could not have made it here without you!
And as i have always promised, My engagement to the man of my dreams was announced first here on my blog before any other social media! because i love you all so much!

Saturday, May 2, 2015

A Very Late 'Thank You'

At the end of march, as my finals came around, i was outrageously stressed, and i asked here on my blog if you would all pray for me.
i realized i never thanked you.

I felt those prayers, believe me.
i received the strength and peace that i needed to get me through the last few days of Rexburg, and i felt an enormous outpouring of love.

Thank you, reader.

Melissa Michiale