Fan Club

 So.

I have the most amazing family ever. Really, I do.

And because a lot of them came up to Madera, I had a lot of fans at graduation!

I don't know how the kids stayed awake through the whole thing!

My Grandparents are incredible. Both sets. 

My Grandpa Hansen and his five siblings all went to college. They were the sons and daughters of a poor Nevada farmer, they grew up in the Great Depression but they all sacrificed so much to continue their education. They are the American dream! giving up everything to be your best self. and never stopping until you've reached your goals. God blesses people like that.

He sure did bless my grandpa. Heaven knows that no one's life is perfect. Grandpa's not an exception. but Fred Hansen married a beautiful girl, she's amazing that Dorsmae. My Grandma Hansen is one of the nicest people on the earth. I have honestly never heard a single bad thing come out of her mouth. ever! They're so sweet together. and more than fifty years later, they are still hopelessly in love and happy.

I want that.

My grandpa Hansen always called us his "little schoolgirls" or "miss Americas" when i told him on Sunday that i won the Miss MAdera South pageant, he just winked and said, "what did i tell ya! you're royal!" He also tells me not to wear red lipstick. Because "When I went to school, if a girl wore red lipstick it meant she wanted to more than a polite handshake."

My family has always encouraged me to do well in school. But i think it all came from Grandpa Hansen. His drive to succeed. His love of learning was definitely passed to all of us, and i will forever be grateful for that.

I love them.

 I am blessed. I know i am. all of my grandparents are still here. they all seem so young to me! honestly, Sunday at dinner Grandpa Hansen mentioned the year he was born and i choked on my jello! there is no way he is eighty six years old!

That's how i feel about Grandmom and Grandad Wallwork! they are too young to have great grand children! My grandmom is so generous and loving! Have you ever known someone who can cook with "more"? well my Grandmom can! and goodness is she good at it! Her thanksgiving meals are legendary, especially the rolls. and my my my does she know how to pack every ounce of ice cream into the cone without cracking it! Also? she's the greatest seamstress in the world. 

I'm going to try and convince her to make my wedding dress when the time comes...I'll pay her!

My Granddad is HILARIOUS. If you ever find me a funnier guy than Mickey Wallwork, then by golly I'll shave my head! He makes the coolest pancakes and gives the best hugs. He was a military man and I am SO thankful for the choice that he and Grandmom made to change their lives and embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ. as much as my mom wishes she could have gone away to school, i'm glad that Granddad didn't let her. Because if she had left, she never would have met my dad at Cal Poly, and I wouldn't be here!

I love them!

My Uncle Rodney is a genius. literally. He's going to Jerusalem for School really soon and I'm so glad that we've gotten to hang out so much lately! I miss laughing and talking with him already! maybe some day I'll be lucky enough to join him in Jerusalem! (fingers crossed?)

I love him!

I'm so happy that Allison lives so close! and that we are so alike! My sisters all gives me so much to look forward to. I can't wait to be so happy in a little family of my own. well, not for awhile because i am in no way ready or mature enough to get married or be responsible for children full time. ha. Allison and I are so similar! I'm glad that she gets me, because she literally planned out my life at the dinner table one night and i was like, "what the heck! that's exactly what i want for myself!" but no yeah, she's incredible.

and then there's these guys. the fam bam. the support system. the ones who listen to me sing at the top of my lungs 24/7. The ones who sit attentively while i outline LITERALLY every second of my day. the ones who laugh at me to keep me humble and cry with me to keep me strong.

what can i say?

 They're amazing.

The best people in my life.

Oh yeah. and then there's Jenae. the mini-me. the dang CRAZY blonde thing that bounces around and already has our school wrapped around her little finger.

eh. she a'ight.

no but really, I can't tell you how many of my secrets that solely she knows. 

pahaha! she's wild, and i like it. i'm gonna just pack her up and take her with me, kay?

sounds good.

thanks family, for being practically perfect in every way.

The Ceremony

I'm dragging this out. because i didn't want it to happen. even though i couldn't wait for it to happen. does that make sense? probably not. I  couldn't wait to graduate because it meant no more high school. But I didn't want to graduate because it meant leaving High school. 

you get it, right?

so. Marissa and I and the other CSF kids were eating hors d oueuvres (fancy!) in the cafeteria of the elementary school across from the stadium. we're eating all this fruit and stuff with all the administrators from all over the district. And "forgot" to leave my fanny pack in the car. so i just clipped it around my waist... and hmm. none of the administrators said a word...

so there we were, all lining up...

Marissa and i were talking about something or other and i just stopped in the middle of my sentence and said, "Yo....dawg! we're GRADuating right now!! that's so wild!"

it was wierd. walking out onto the field with my best friend, the dang cheesiest song in the world was playing and everyone was cheering for their kids and i was just skipping along, wiggling my fanny pack and laughing at all the clever signs.

We sat in the front row because we're CSF life members. I felt cool, not gonna lie.

meanwhile, my family was cheering like a herd of roosters. I may have even heard an "oh YOU'RE NASTY!!" as i passed them. true love, y'all.

It was HOT. and i was dripping sweat in my dang purple robes. also? all the guys looked like Hogwarts' students...just sayin. my niece and nephew had a blast in the stands!

oh hey! that's me!

I pretended to shoot a Katniss arrow right at Julian Ramos in the back rows. 

After all the names were read and the principal let us move our nifty tassels, we had a flash mob. I don't know how it looked from the stands but i felt pretty flipping cool. and then everyone threw their caps  and honestly, i feel like the whole world froze. I looked over at my best friend on my right, and i turned around to see the rest of the class behind me and i felt overwhelmed. it was like a dang movie. fireworks were literally going off. and everyone was cheering and they all ran to the back of the stadium to get their diplomas and meet their parents but i just stood still for a minute. just to drink it all in. 

phew, I'm DONE!

Bittersweet.

Best Friend

 so. once upon a time i met Marissa in the fifth grade. I wish i could upload erry dang picture i own of the two of us because let's be real, we're hilarious. 

I wish i could be like her. she's so dang cute and lady like and perfect! 

she's always there for me, no matter what. Even though i'm not always there for her.

 We got to sit right next to each other during graduation. who gets to sit next to their best friend during the biggest moment of high school? we do, cause we're dang lucky ducks.

But seriously, she is the best friend anyone could ask for.

I can always count on her, I can always go to her if i need something, and she gets me so well!

I love being in a room with her and we just look at each other and know that we're having the exact same thought. I love not having to say ANYTHING to her, and knowing she completely understands how i feel.

I love (and miss!) driving her home from school almost everyday. 

I love talking about things that i would never discuss with anyone else.

I love venting and ranting and yelling and crying with her.

I love that we're SO alike, but SO different at the same time.

I love that she is Catholic, and I love her family. sometimes they make me wish i was Mexican.

I love laughing over the DUMBEST things with her.

I love plotting and planning and giggling and creeping and picnicking and dancing and singing and acting and walking to class and hosting lunch times and just plain living life with her!

I love that all my best memories from the last six years were with her.

I love that she accepts me.

I LOVE how weird and crazy we are.

I just love us.

She's the best friend. 

There's way too many things to say about her, I can't explain how grateful I am for her in my life!

Mel and Mo all day, dawg.

I Love her.

Thanks, Missy!

Flash Backs

The morning that my brother Donny got married, all of my brothers and sisters were home. all of my best friends.and my whole family, there's 21 one of us now with all the in laws and grand kids, we were all just talking and laughing in the living room together. And we have a tradition of singing together, when i was younger it was like pulling teeth when Katrina forced us to sing a hymn in church. now i can't get enough of it. We sang all our favorite songs that morning. some hymns and some not but they were all good. and we're not perfect. we argue and get mad and we've all had tough patches. But we just love each other. I don't know what else there is to say.

When you really, truly love someone, you want nothing more than to see them succeed. you would do anything to make them happy. I love my family. That morning, all standing in the kitchen singing felt like Heaven. literally. our voices sound good together, and we were all just so happy that we were together! there was tangible love in the air. that sounds so cliche but you could just honestly feel it. There was a sweet spirit here that morning. it was so happy and peaceful, it felt like Christmas in March! It felt like nothing else i have ever felt. I hope that heaven is just like that morning. I'm so happy that i get to be with them forever! and now i'm just sitting here crying over my keyboard loving my family and wishing that i could go back to the October weekend that Rebecca and Eric got engaged so i could tell Eric that i didn't hate him! and that even though i threw a fit and acted mad, i was just a nine year old girl who missed her big sister..

the point is...whether i'm a five year old crying on the lawn because Donny wouldn't let me play his trumpet, or an eighteen year old who can't wait to be in Hiko at the end of the month at a much needed family reunion, I love my family. I always have and I always will. And you wanna know my favorite part?  They'll always love me back. no matter what stupid things i say or how many times i grouch at them to stop tapping their pen on the counter... I am theirs and they are mine. Forever. and I love that.

Hermione Granger

First of all, remember my AMAZING English teacher, Mrs.Watterson? 

well. she got me the best flipping graduation present EVER.

Hermione Granger's wand.

(actually, i'm pretty sure it's harry's but shhh. don't rain on my favorite character parade!)

that's right! I FINALLY HAVE A WAND!

Don't know who Hermione is?!

well first, you can just slap yourself on the dang face. twice!

and then you can read THIS.

she's only the coolest witch ever! and one of my personal heroes.

I love that my teacher knows me well enough to get me a dang wand! she said, "what could be more perfect than a real wand to take to college? annoying roommate? stupefy her! difficult class? conjure a patronus to help you!"

how thoughtful!

and needless to say, i dang LOVE it!

It came in a fancy box from Ollivander's and errythang!

so much infact, that i decided to do a dang photo shoot!

accio under-eye-bag-concealer...

 and of course, my Hogwarts class of 2012 senior portrait!

Derek, Jonathan and I staged a duel. well, actually it was me fighting off a dementor by conjuring my patronus charm. and it is EPIC to say the least. you should right click and zoom in...worth it.

Natalie & Caleb

Once upon a time I had a little best friend who looked just like me.

she also happened to be my niece, so i get to spend a lot of time with her!

uhmm, ignore my terrifyingly messy room...

We love to laugh and read Dr.Seuss and braid hair and jump on the trampoline together.

She loves to wake up early and come snuggle in my bed. 

And by early i mean early. and by snuggle i mean she comes and sits next to me while i'm sleeping and tells me stories and asks me questions that i mumble half coherent answers to until i fall back asleep. and then she tries to hold still for as long as possible until she's bored. which is probably four minutes max. and then she gets down and quietly plays with nick knacks on my shelves for a few more minutes before she climbs back in my bed. repeat for about an hour and a half.

But i just laugh, Natalie is hilarious. I love all her questions. 

she's becoming a little grown up! and she's going into kindergarten! what? that's wild! I literally remember the day she was born! I feel so old sometimes...

and then there's my little Bubba Gump! look at that dang impish grin! what a sneaky snake! we're pals.

oh yeah, and my mom is pretty much the coolest person ever. she taught me how to make newspaper hats!

I'm really glad Allison and the kids made the trip. I dang love them! I can't wait until Jenna gets old enough to like me, too! I love my family! :)

Mrs.Watterson

I have always loved to write.

I don't really know one specific reason why, i just do.

Maybe because at church we're encouraged to keep a journal, maybe because my dad is like a dang poet.

ever since i was a little kid, open any of my notebooks (actually, don't....) but if you did, you'd find chicken scratches of little stories. sometimes it's a line or two, sometimes it's whole plots with intricate twists and surprisingly deep characters. wild, right?

I even wrote "books" with two of my cousins one summer under a pseudonym and we planned to mail them to scholastic to get them published. haha we were so motivated!

and actually, some of my stories were pretty dang good, thank you very much.

silly, under developed and obviously written by a pre-teen, but good!

Well I never had a solid English teacher until Junior Year in AP language.

okay, disclaimer. all my elementary teachers were incredible! and 3rd and 6th were especially so. And Mr. Hardcastle my sophomore year was actually really good, but the entire school year, i hated him. HATED him. honestly. I told him at least three times a week that he was an idiot and that he shouldn't have credentials. I flipped desks, screamed at him and purposefully ruined his evaluations when administrators were in the room. talk about the student from H-E-double hockey sticks! I PRAY that i never have a student as terrible as i was to poor Mr. Hardcastle. 

and then came Mrs. Watterson.

wake. up. call.

We had a summer assignment that was actually quite simple. we just had to find articles about current events and analyze the author's style and that jazz. I went into class the first day of school scared out of my mind.

1) because even though she's like a foot shorter than me, she was terrifying! Everyone always talked about how difficult her class was and how hard of a teacher she was. She is really intimidating. 110 pounds of hard core, that Watterson. 

2) there was a freaky bunny poster taped over the clock....

3) no windows. 

I was so confident about my summer assignment, i was giddy. I couldn't wait for her to use my writing as examples and see smiley faces next to A+ s on all of my essays.

about a week later, when she passed it back? 

F

a big fat purple F. My first F. ever.

I was DEVASTATED.

It didn't make sense. I was good! teachers always raved about how i was ahead of all the other kids my age. My papers always made it to the fridge! What in the world did i do wrong?

Over the course of the year, I slowly made my way up to a solid C. It stayed that way for a long time. and I worked my BUTT off for that final B. 

I learned a ridiculous amount of things in that class.

I wrote and re wrote and re wrote assignments. most of the time i was too prideful to turn in my re-writes, though. ha. She unknowingly turned me on to Tegan and Sara and street art. And i gained my hatred of the United Nations through Mrs. Watterson's Factoid Fridays. 

but that's a separate post...

This year i chose to take Mrs.Watterson's Expository Reading and Writing class instead of AP Lit.

BEST CHOICE EVER.

no offense to Mr. stupid face salmonson, but i learned 5 billion times more in ERW than i would have in AP lit. ERW was AWESOME. I feel super cheesy saying this, but i wish every kid at my school could have had Mrs.Watterson. she's just honestly good. Just plain good. and there's no trick to it, she just pushes you. and not in a scary football coach kind of way. I don't even know how to explain it, but she just makes you want to do your best all the time. And I love that.

I want to be that! 

I want to be that teacher.

The one that drives everyone crazy because she's a stickler and the hardest grader on the planet, but you dang love her because she does crazy projects and simulations and she loves mustaches and 1984.

She only fueled my desire to teach. 

and as made obvious my this ranting blog post, i dang love her.

I will forEVER be grateful for her for teaching me how to actually write. How to actually research, not just google. How to think, really, critically, think. And how to write an insane ten page paper about fast food.

and somehow, after the billion stressful assignments, I still love writing!

Thanks for everything, Mrs.Watterson!

You're the best teacher I've ever had!

Banquets

someone told me that i post too often...

so i waited A WHOLE DAY in between posts, just for you! ;)

don't hate. this blog is my journal! 

I go to a pretty cool school. actually, it's the best High School ever. EVER.

There is an award given at the end of the school year to two athletes. It's the athlete of the year meets athlete of integrity. It's a pretty huge deal around here, actually. There's a big banquet with all the sports teams for the whole year! Each sport gets a few minute to talk about season highlights and announce their Champ (MVP, but with more focus on a good attitude and sportsmanship)

Then comes the big stuff.

Champion for Life.

This year, two of my good friends got champion for Life!

Vanessa

and Travis!

(He's also holding his Champ awards from he three sports he played this year because he like to show off)

Jason and Stephen were champs too! So obviously, i took pictures with them, because i'm documenting Eeeeeverything, remember?...

I'm really grateful that i go to a school where the Administration, the staff and the Athletics department care more about our character than winning games. Once you establish a good base of integrity and sportsmanship, the wins just pile up!

God blesses us when we do the right thing.

I'm not saying the He cares who wins a sports game, i'm just saying that he'll help us preform at our best if we do what he asks.

Love comes back, that's all.

Derek was the very first Champion for Life at our school, and he and Travis have gotten close over the past four years, so it was really cool that Trav earned it this year.

I Love my School!

Memorial Day

 Remember the other day when i mentioned the thrift store and rocking out in the car and driving up a mountain? yeah. well these pictures are that day.

It was a dang good day, too.

Hello creepy herd of kitties on a random porch

DISGUSTING

 obviously, i'm going to be an astronaut now that i found this super awesome rhinestoned jumpsuit! duh!

also? high five for the wild poof braid and barefeet in a thrift store. SO clean. yes.

  And sometimes...

a friend puts a blanket invitation to a graduation celebration on facebook. so we take the invitation! even though we weren't specifically invited...

but it's not technically crashing, right?

well anyway. we hecka went.

I. Love. Driving up the mountain. to coarsegold or oakhurst or girls camp, it's peaceful. and gorgeous.

Oh yeah, and Jenae is the queen of cool.

So we drive for almost an hour to a party we were barely invited to. And guess what. It was SO flipping worth it. I had TONS of fun, and jenae did too, i'm sure. I laughed a lot, which is always good. and I uhmmm love some people. they're incredibly hospitable and kind and pretty much the coolest family ever. and uhmm, check out this dang view!

 we were ALMOST killed driving off the property....by an evil bull that is supposedly just a "gentle giant" 

regardless.

He still looked scary when he was blocking the road...

Jenae is cool.

I'm glad she's weird, too. Or else i would be pretty lonely sometimes.

Grad Night

Welcome to grad night.

where you spend four hours on a bus next to two guys snorting crack(!!!!!) get mad at a random hipster who bumped into you at in-n-out, 

and you laugh. a lot. with two of your best friends.

where you wait in line for HOURS just to have the ride shut down when you're next in line
and you see the most evil/hilarious parts of all your friends when 3 am comes around.

and uhmm, there totally were fanny packs, Brandon!

once we hit like 2:30, it was just unattractive and mean and hysterical and bad. haha.

we're the cutest people in the whole dang park!

obviously, people were getting pretty wild. and lonely enough to snuggle with a giant bugs bunny.

Also? what the heck?? Looney tunes and superheros is the weirdest combination uhmmm, ever.

after the green lantern fiasco, MArissa, Ernesto and I went on a bunch of rides that were CRAZY and awesome. haha and Marissa and I were really loud and annoying and wild with our dang lingo.

I love her.

I loved six flags. especially tatsu the second time.

I loved Grad night. especially the ride home. sleeping is nice.

I don't know if it's juts me? or if it's because i'm new to roller coasters...

But last December and after grad night, I just felt torn UP after i got home from six flags!

My stomach felt all twisted, and my intestines all felt up in my throat, and then down in my feet. I was dizzy with a pounding headache and I was starving, but if i ate even a dang cracker, i felt ready to burst.

I probably just have like, a deficiency of brain fluid or something.

no big, right?

It was worth it though!

I dang LOVE the adrenaline rush! and the giddy nervousness right before i get on the ride.

sigh. High school is good.