Random tidbits

so. these gems have been collecting up all summer. I started a post and didn't finish. then when i logged back on a few days later i couldn't remember what i was going to say so i just saved it. and then one day i just started adding on. and that kept going for awhile. so i thought i'd post it just for kicks. welcome to my brain:


I decided reeeally early on that i was never going to cross my legs. like, one knee over the other. because it's uncomfortable as heck! but literally everyone does this! i cross my ankles and tuck them underneath my chair like on the princess diaries. but for the record i made this decision before the princess diaries.

I say "Dawg" a lot. I already said it too much, and then Derek came home last week, which only amplified it. and sometimes i annoy mySELF with how much that word comes out of my mouth. but I.Can't. Stop.

I'm learning American Sign language and sometimes i wish that everyone would just STOP TALKING. sometimes i just sign something to my mom. and i know she doesn't know what it means but i'm like WILLING her to know what it means.

I think i'm going blind.
But really, my eyesight is getting fuzzy and weird. probably because i'm at work all day and when i'm not typing or filing in a back room with no windows i'm reading. that's all i do no a days. and it's taking me longer and longer to focus my eyes on stuff, especially outside. which is no bueno.

I know you're supposed to like, move on from high school, but i'm DYING in anticipation for Madera South's first home game. because i'll actually be here for it!! I'm itching to wear my stallion shoes again. old habits die hard i guess...

okay flip, boys and girls are stupid. they're just DUMB, okay?
girl, If he clearly likes you, despite the 2464 times you've friendzoned him, he's prolly in love with you. so stop complaining about the fact that there are no good guys out there who like you. not every guy wants to chase and chase and chase you know!
and boys, if you've been friendzoned 2464 times, she's not into you , bro. sorry. move on. she's probably not worth your good guy time anyway! go find a real woman who appreciates your kindness!
Having brothers makes you real protective. and sheesh! entitled, high maintenance women these days!


Dear Walmart,
If you're going to have 30 checkout lines, how about you open more than five at a time? and maybe one of them could be a regular lane, instead of the '20 items or less'. speaking of which, MADAM YOU CLEARLY HAVE SEVEN THOUSAND ITEMS IN YO CART! STEP ASIDE!


church dances are great. and awkward. and great.


you know what I love? guy friends. the ones who make you laugh and have been there forever, regardless of anything you've said or done. those are the best.


why do girls spend SO much time on their nails? sure, i paint my from time to time when i'm feeling super confident or girly. but i just don't see the need to have the whole dang ceiling of the Sistine Chapel on my thumb.


Have I done the Thestrals rant on here yet? If so, you can skip this chunk. If not, humor me for a second.
Harry Potter.
Thestrals.
they're these magical winged horses that you can only see if you've witnessed death. they pull the carriages at Hogwarts but they're invisible to most students, so it just looks like the carriages are pulling themselves. So at the end of Goblet of Fire, Harry sees Voldemort kill Cedric Diggory. sad day. and at the end of the book, NOTHING is said about thestrals. nada.
but then all of a sudden, when the gang comes back for fifth year in Order of the Pheonix, Haryy's all, 'what the heck is this creepy dead horse thing pulling the carriage?!' and Luna's all, 'oh, i see it too.' and then later Hagrid says, 'they're thestrals. duh.'
He should have been able to see them at the end of the forth book!
BUT!
Harry watched his mother get killed by voldemort as a dang infant! so he should have been able to see the thestrals ALL ALONG!!!!!!!!!!
*passes out*

Sometimes I'm pretty sure Taylor Swift steals my journal in order to write her songs.


timing is everything. EVERYthing. it kills me sometimes. to know that i want something so badly, and if i had wanted it the first time the occasion presented itself, i could have had it. and it thrills me to see my siblings' lives just click into place every once in awhile. i wonder, 'why isn't ____ happening?' 'how much longer is ____ going to to go on?' and then boom. it happens. right when you least expect it, but somehow the timing seems perfect anyway.


I love how Heavenly Father literally knows EXACTLY what tiny things to put in our path to make us happy, or restore our faith, or give us an answer we'd been searching for. and i love that sometimes you don't even see those things, you skip right over them and then days later you realize, wow! that was just for me!


I. Hate. Goodbyes.


I like that feeling when you haven't seen a friend in like a billion years, and then you hang out again. and you don't even miss a beat.


Today, we were driving home from Fresno on 41, almost to the american flag barn and there was a big traffic jam. then I see a car on the right hand side of the road, with it's emergency lights flashing. then, on the other side of the road i see another car, facing the opposite way, and a guy in a bro tank, jeans and aviators is standing by the car, looking across the road. Then the guy runs ACROSS the road to the broken down car. I didn't see if he talked to the driver or not, but if he did, it must have been a very brief conversation because lickety split, there he was, pushing the car. the driver obviously had the car in neutral and this guy was just helping him get clear of the traffic. it all happened in just a few seconds but it felt like forever. and then we were passing the car and we gave the aviators guy a thumbs up, because how else could we talk to him? but i wanted to talk to him! i wanted to say thank you, even though it wasn't even me in the broken down car. and i wanted to tell him good job, but i didn't want to embarrass him. and then we passed him. and in the rear view mirror i saw the driver get out and hug the aviators guy. complete strangers. how noble! I love seeing that there are good people. it made my day.

Harvest

My Dad has the coolest job ever.

EVER.

You can watch this video that our church made about the welfare farm that my Dad manages, it's great:

http://www.lds.org/church/news/raisins-part-of-the-lords-work?lang=eng&query=madera+california

So recap: I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They own farms all over the world, and the food/crops grown at those farms are used for two things. 1.our own internal welfare system for members of our church and communities. you don't pay anything for the help you get, but you are expected to give back. By helping at the vineyard or volunteering at other church events. and 2. those crops or goods get shipped all over the world to victims of natural disaster or poverty. for free. no matter their race, religion or ethnicity. 

My Dad manages a raisin vineyard for our church. He is the only paid worker at the Vineyard, everyone else  are volunteers. yup. ALL the other work is done by us. members of the church and community. for free. We pick the grapes, we lay the grapes on paper trays we roll the raisins and put them in giant bins that are shipped to boxing houses and distributed all over the world to people in need.

Every year ten thousand people from all over the valley come for the harvest. It's a miracle, really. and i love it. I love the people that come to harvest in the summer and prune in the winter. I love that my Dad probably knows more about grapes than anyone else in the whole world, and i LOVE that feeling after a long day at the vineyard. you are probably filthier than you've ever been before. and your arms probably hurt. and you might have a cut or two. and it's 100+  degrees outside. 

but it just feels good to be helping people.

So go out to the vineyard! you are doing a lot of good out there. and you won't regret it. 

See you there!

Merry Christmas?...

Last night, while Reading The Giver by Lois Lowry  I was thinking about Christmas. you know how a memory comes to you out of nowhere, and in a split second you can see like, an hours' worth of time go by? vivid as can be? and you kind of blink to yourself like, woah. i totally remember that! That was me last night. some random memory crept up to the front of my brain just for a moment, so i scribbled down the happy little memory in my journal. Here you go now, off into the pensieve:

It's almost Christmas. It's late at night and we're all huddled in the living room. It's cold, I wish I could say that snow was falling, but I've never had a white Christmas. But it's cold, you can see it on the foggy windows and feel it in the rooms at the farthest ends of the house.

I know I'm young because I'm wrapped in one of the old blankets. One of Grandmom's. the orange one with the blue tufts of yarn. I'm wrapped up in it, which means I'm younger than eight, because at 8 Grandmom made me my own quilt. The one with stars on one side and patches with buttons on one side and stars on the other. I also know that it's before Allison's wedding, because I'm laying on carpet. and we didn't get the tile until right before Allison's wedding. I must have been pretty young, because it seems like all 10 of us are there, too. just the ten of us.

It's dark in the room. to my left is the fireplace, ablaze and warm, making the room cozy. I'm laying in front of the piano. The candy lights that my mom made from sandwich containers and colored plastic wraps over a strand of Christmas lights is on the wall. And as usual, the half of the strand stretching into the kitchen is blinking. making an ever-so-faint "Tink" each time the lights go out. Next to the back door is the Christmas tree. It seems huge because I am so small. and it is magnificent! Tall and wide, strung with twinkling lights: REd, Purple, Blue, Green, Yellow, Pink and Orange dots smile at me from behind the ornaments.

The ones at the top are my mom's. Glass and Beautiful. Breakable. The ones in the middle are the older kids'. les intimidating, but still better than mine, dangling from the bottom of the tree. handmade. My favorite was a walnut shell with a tiny plastic baby under a small piece of felt, it was the baby Jesus.
We all had matching ornaments, too. beaded bells made by our great grandmother, gold angels on clouds with our birthdays and names engraved in them. and the paper angels. We made them as a family activity one year. All were the same paper dollies made to look like angels, glues to a white clothespin so it can clip to the tree, and each had the face of the owner taped onto it. I was Jealous of Rebecca's, Regal and perfect.

I loved our tree. I could stare at it for hours. all the shining colors reflecting off the gold star at the top. It captivated me. The presents beneath were wrapped in colorful paper and tied with glistening ribbon. I knew which packaged were from Grandmom and Grandad, because they were shaped like books and topped with huge handmade bows. Just looking at the gifts made me ansy.

It was storytime.

We have a "book" - a big white binder- than my Dad's aunt Jean made for us. There are 23 stories in it. Every day, starting with December first, we read a story and on Christmas Eve we act out the Nativity. Each story was different, but they all shared the same messages of the Savior, Love and Christmas Spirit. Everyone has their favorite, too. Katrina's is 'a brother like that', mom loves the one with the canyon boots, Mine is 'The Christmas Orange'.
Every night , before the story started we all got to light a candle. Mom helped me light my favorite. The one with the mouse in a stocking cap sleeping in front of a fireplace. 10 candles flickered, making dancing shadows on the wall. We sing a Carol, we sound good together. and we all settle snugly into our spots, listening to our mother reading tonight's story. Her voice blends perfectly with the crackling fire and the wind rustling outside. We've all heard the story before, but we're holding our breath. Mom's voice catches in the same emotional place. I close my eyes. I can smell the pine needles on the tree, and the wood in the fire. I can smell the vineyard because my head is resting on Dad's arm. I am warm and content there in our little living room.

the story is over, we sing another Christmas Carol before we pray. then we blow out our candles, brush our teeth and try to avoid going to bed. But eventually we're herded to our rooms after we've changed into our pajamas and Dad has braided my hair. I'm falling asleep. My feet are cold, but it's a cozy cold. I can already hear Jenae's tiny snore near me. I close my eyes again and i can picture the living room, soft and inviting. The tree, the lights, the smells. and as the fire pops from down the hall I fall asleep smiling to myself.



I remembered that all in a brief moment yesterday and I scurried to write it down, in case it doesn't show up in my head again. I don't want to forget something that happy, you know?

-Mel

Left Behind

Today I'm feeling a little left Behind. 

My friends are all leaving for college.

The "Dish Boys" who were in our ward for the summer left for school today.

And so did Derek.

which is not okay at all.

And one of my co-workers still calls me Michelle. seriously? I've worked there every weekday since July 4, and you don't know my name? there's only five people in the office.

I try really hard not to sadblog. you know. get on and rant about how crappy my life is.

I do rant sometimes. okay a lot. but usually aren't sad, they're annoyed. you know?

anyway. so I'm not going to go into detail about how ripped up i am or how much i HATE saying goodbyes.

(I didn't even say goodbye to Derek. ha. I stuck my hand out the door and gave him a fist bump and said, "Deuces, bro." haha )

So instead of being mopey, i'm going to show you 20 photos that somehow got left behind in the past couple months. Either they didn't get put on Facebook because they were too ugly or personal, or they didn't make it on to the blog because they didn't necessarily fit into one event group or category. there are a couple that i didn't blog about just because...I have no idea who reads this blog. and certain opinions or feelings are a little too personal for invisible internet friends. no offense! I love all of you, probably. I just don't really want to drop the names of guys i'm hard core crushing on. just in case they, or their sisters or moms or friends or neighbors or pets read my blog. haha.  

1. I love this. right after their last playoff game, right when the thought of graduating and leaving town was hitting. Jason only left like two weeks ago, I already miss him. sigh.....

2. oh hey. It's Rory. at seminary Graduation. he's great. 

3. I live in a relatively small town, I love it. especially the Mexican markets and the killer sunsets 

4. I voted for the first time, and i felt pretty important, guys.

5. This Trogdor cup. My friend Taylor Beakes painted it for me at grad night. at 2 in the morning. dedication.

6. temple trips with the fam bam

7. the house to ourselves and Switched At Birth on Netflix instant play? Red Dye overload to the MAX.

8. once upon a time i thought it's be all cool and artsy and take a picture of the sunset from my roof.

And then i couldn't get down. so i was trapped on the roof until i had the courage to blindly put all my weight and faith in a rickety old ladder. too bad the trampoline wasn't closer, or i could have pulled an Allison.

10. I love my job, have i mentioned that? I really do! and my favorite part (besides reading books all day) is all the little things. like, I LOVE shredding paper. and using Swiffers. I'm converted, for sure.

11. one day, randomly, Jason and Brandon came over and were like, "uhmm, can Melissa come to the school with us? " So we went to the school and played Frisbee and went crazy on the swings and ran in the sprinklers and talked and talked and talked. It felt like third grade, and i LOVED it.

12. I love the fourth of July. and i posted about it, but i left out this crazy picture that i love. haha Uncle Mark is about to delve into the Penisieve! wild!

13. sometimes when Derek has the expedition at work, and my mom needs to run errands, she gives me rides to work. but i am impatient. so instead of waiting at work to be picked up, i somehow feel better by walking down the street to the Orthodontists and reading in the shade until she comes. 

14. This is my knick knack shelf. My mom hates it. Natalie and Caleb love it. and 98% of the things on it, i got from Oscar Bolonos. tahaha.

15. Derek got me some sweet paints for Christmas, and I am loving them

16. One day, My grandma and Grandpa Hansen were over and my grandma used the restroom just before she left. As she walked to the car, she kinda looked at me weird. for a second i thought, "what?" and then i died laughing. I had just gotten out of the shower and i had written on the mirror, "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir Beware...."

17. Oh hey, meet Zane. He's one of my favorite people. we went on a friend date a few weeks ago and we asked for crayons because we're awesome.

also, he bought me a fanny pack. which only increases his chances in the "Become Melissa's favorite person" raffle. ALSO, we're both super awkward. as shown in the picture below:

18. Random American flags make me happy

19. I took a pottery and Ceramics class this year and it was flipping the BEST decision i ever made. I absolutely love it and all of my projects from it. I made this box for my Director, Mrs.Latimer. don't judge my incision skills. you try carving a summary of The Wizard of Oz into leather hard clay with a fruit skewer.

20. Derek got Monopoly for his birthday. We played it for the first time and i KICKED his butt. and mom's. and Jonathan's. I AM ANDREW CARNEGIE.  yay capitalism.

twenty happys.

The Beach

The morning after the wienie roast Derek popped his head in my door and said, "hey, how do you feel about going to the beach?"

Me: uhmm, i don't really care...I'm down.

Then Jenae popped in as well with, "good, 'cause we're going."

And a few hours later, we did! ha. SO worth the three hours driving. and actually, i drove the whole way there! woot! it may have been the longest I've driven without stopping! But there was the trip to Utah last summer where i drove for a few hours, they're probably around the same length. anyway. I was proud of myself! because despite Derek's insistence that i drive faster, I thought i did pretty dang well.

anyway.

So we drove to the beach and then spent like half an hour driving around looking for parking before i said a little prayer in my head that we'd find a spot. we turned the corner and there it was. a perfect little open spot just big enough for our corolla. so after a quick thank you prayer, we unloaded the car (we brought WAY too much stuff.) and walked down to the beach! 

It was definitely a different experience going without parents. 

But it was super fun.

Jenae is a babe by the way. pretty sure the group of European guys (One Direction?...) playing soccer behind us were creepin' on her.

as SOON as we got there, Jonathan started diggin'. like literally, right away.

Oh hey there's me. I got into my shins and decided i was done. I love the beach, but I'm definitely more of the - lounge on the towel and Read Harry Potter/ happily nap and snack while your brothers and little sister play in the ocean - kind of a beach goer.

Ever since Junior year when Lawrence Garza blew his nose, and then jumped into the pool covered in mud at Water Polo practice, I've been extremely grossed out about the idea of swimming at the same time as other people. like, REAL grossed out. I don't swim at parties or family home evening activities or at friends' houses. the thought of a bunch of nasty bodies all in one pool in literally the least amount of clothing possible?...masvpjahdfv adfvudnkj. GROSS.

I'll just awkwardly swim by myself while the rest of you chill in the even more disgusting hot tub. thanks.

needless to say, i sat on the blanket and read about Horcrux hunting. happy as a lark to wave at my siblings in the water. It was hot cold. like, real hot, but real cold. it was wild. I loved it, because i was dry. ha.

shista shista

After some time (I'm honestly not sure how long, because i took a nap and lost track of time) we met up with our Grandparents, who live in San Luis Obisbo, farther down the beach where their ward was having a beach dinner. Jenae made a little friend.

I love Grandmom and Grandad Wallwork! they're my moms parents, they're hilarious and so sweet.

after dinner it was time to go.

We went back to Grandmom and Grandad's house to wash up and change out of our sandy clothes and have Popsicles and laugh together before we headed home.

It was a great day.

I got a sweet sweet Polaroid camera for my birthday from my pseudo brothers and I LOVE it! ignore my chipped nail polish...

The drive home was great too, we talked and laughed. we do a lot of that thankfully. I'm so so grateful that i went. A couple days prior to this outing was when i said goodbye to really good friends and i was a complete wreck the day of the wienie roast. so i was worried that i would be emotionally drained at the beach but it turned out fine.

 seriously...I love my brothers and Jenae.

Derek is leaving on a train in the morning and i am not okay with it at all.

Jonathan, Derek and I have literally spent 98% of our free time together for the past three months, and  i don't know how they feel, but they are my best friends. hands down. and i feel like this is the summer I'm going to look back on for the rest of my life as far as my relationship with them goes. it's never gonna be like this again. we're not gonna see each other at thanksgiving, and we'll all be home for Christmas, but only for a week or two. and who knows what will be happening next summer? so much can happen in a year. There's just never gonna be another time like this for the three of us to all be together all the time again.

rant.

the twins are their own post. 

anyway, I'm so glad we randomly decided to go to the beach. and I'm so glad Jenae came too.

Summer's been good. 

great actually.

I'm definitely not ready for it to be over.

Wienie Roast

Sometimes My brothers have a birthday but they don't want a party.

But i want them to have a party.

So after hearing about wienie roasts HERE on the Art of manliness website.

By the way, if you haven't been on that website, take a minute or sixty to read a few articles. I agree with 98% of the things there. read it. love it. apply it. 

anyway...

We decided to have a birthday weinie roast on the condition that i wouldnt tell people it was their birthday and i wouldn't bring out a suprise cake. whatever.

I thought it went pretty well! minus that awkward group of lames who showed up just to sit in the corner, ignore everyone and complain about how small the fire was. i didn't invite them, that's all i'm saying.

So apparently, roasting Starbursts is a thing. I didn't believe my friend Zach when he told me about it, but uhmm, it's flipping the best thing on the planet!! seriously though, it's totally worth the like 2 and a half minutes it takes to get it just right. YUM.

a small group of us were cool enough to play no bears are out tonight. a family game that is like a crazier, WAY more intense game of tag. times a thousand. but apparently being chased in a dark vineyard is not "fun" for some people. whatever, losers!! HATE ON IT.

after the gaggle of awkward girls left (while still complaining. oh please. NO ONE INVITED YOU, GET OUT OF HERE! stupid people should get beat up by Albus Dumbledore once or twice, then they would never murmur again.)

anyway, after they who shall not be named gratefully scurried off, the party got super fun for me. and more people came. and everyone was talking and laughing and that makes me happy - when people laugh. and then my dad decided it was high time for a spiritual story. in the middle of that wienie roast. my dad likes to make everything serious. which is cool, he's a cool guy. and the story was actually pretty cool, because even though I've heard it several times before, it's not one he usually tells.

and i don't think anyone else thought it was weird, so 10 points for Gryffindor. good job Professor Hansen.

So the night was spent laughing and roasting and talking and creeping and excitedly jabbering about the Olympics and about how my friend should marry your cousin and things like that. taha.

all in all, it was great times. 

oh yeah, and shout out to Bret and Ryan. You would have had a real cute picture up on here! but it whas super blurry and made y'alls hair look like simba. which maybe was not a bad thing? but anyway, i  deleted it. but hey, thanks for comin' and roasting some wenies. 

we bought 134 wienies which means we still have like 70 in our fridge. yay?...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Derek and Jonathan!
I should have taken a picture of y'all with the fire! what the heck was i thinking?? flip.

next stop: ranting post about Brandon leaving me for college!