On Actual Halloween

I decided kind of last minute to join Mallorie and Jaylene on their trip to Utah for he weekend. 

Mallorie's boyfriend Mark, and Mark's roommate Eli, came with us actually last minute. 

the ride to Provo was a lot of T-swizzle and good conversation.

When we actually got there i dropped everyone off at their events (after a frenzy of decisions of activities) and then gave Derek about 5 minutes warning before crashing he and Raycelan's Pumpkin carving festivities. (sorrynotsorry)

I'M SO GLAD I WENT. 

Being in Provo again made the whole summer come sweeping at me.

and the entire night i was sending a constant stream of silent "thank you" prayers to Heaven for all the incredible people i got to meet because of Sports Camps. and all the wonderful things i got to be a part of.

Raycelan is a perfect host.

I had just seen Derek like 2 weeks prior at the family reunion, but i had already missed him so much! So i'm glad i got to see him again, even if it was only for an hour or so. 

Dylan and Mitch were in California, which i was bummed about, because i wanted to say hi.

but next door to Raycelan's apartment was a halloween party, and i saw my old roommate, so we were talking and gushing and catching up. i love that Leah girl.  

and then through the window i saw Karl. 

and he gave me the most confused surprised look. 

And then it clicked and i saw him say, "Melissa Hansen?!" and he stood up, so i ran inside and we hugged and talked for a bit. He was wearing a dinosaur mariachi costume (yes.) and his hair was longer than he kept it in the summer and i was unabashedly staring at him the whole time, haha. 

more silent thank you prayers.

one specifically for a boy who is just a stinking great person. 

I watched everyone carve adorable pumpkins. we all ate chocolate. Then Raycelan whipped out her karaoke machine!!! YES. Derek and i rocked out at highest volume to "The Saga Continues". then He and Raycelan followed up with "Human". too. good. 

Derek and i just got to catch up and gossip about Jonathan's awesome girlfriend, and just plain chat. which i love. and for some reason it just was so perfect that this catch up chat happened in the kitchen of a Cinnamon Tree apartment, just like our chats over the summer. 

closure, full circle, Chiasmus, all phrases that work here. 

once My friends were done at their party thing, i said goodbye to everyone and picked up Mal, Jay, Mark and Eli. (I was driving, because neither Mal or Jay wanted to drive in Provo, because they don't know the layout.) we dropped the boys off at the place they were staying the night. Mal and Jay asked if there was anywhere cool that i loved during the summer that i wanted to show them. but by this point it was around 11:30, so everything was closed. i took the to the creamery to get ice cream, duh. and then very spur of the moment we decided to climb to the Y!

SO WE DID!

after we went to maceys and bought flashlights, and i stocked up on mango powerade. 

we started actually 'hiking' around midnight. 

I have a feeling that it was one of those nights that the 3 of us will remember for a long time. 

We sat there for a while. not leaving, for fear of spoiling the magic of midnight friendship crucibles.

by the time we got back to the car it was 1:40 or so. am. no big deal.  

we ended up crashing on the floor of  Jaylene's cousin's apartment in provo. 

but we didn't really sleep because it was FREEZING.

this was us at 8 am when we couldn't take it any longer and decided to leave:

YES.

 sidenote: the sun coming up over the mountains behind campus and the crisp morning whisked me right back to good old July, and i imagined it:

8 am, walking back with a group of squirrely girls from breakfast at the cannon center. probably all in our pajamas. smiling. for no apparent reason. just because i was happy. twisting my lanyard as we walked back to the dorms so they could get ready for their morning session of practice.

i know it sounds melodramatic, but standing on the curb outside that apartment on November 1, staring at Y mountain i definitely got teary eyed. 

more silent thank you prayers.

we picked up Mark, drove him to his sister's house in Orem, and then parked at a church building a few blocks away and tried to sleep for another 3 hours. i took a couple 20 minute naps bit couldn't ever actually fall asleep. this was us at 12:30 when we finally decided to just leave.

SO. UNBELIEVABLY ATTRACTIVE. 

we finally made it to Mal's family at about 1:30. they let us all take showers and get cleaned up, and then we spent the weekend there talking and laughing and visiting. they showed me Monsters University! my first time seeing it :)
This was my 3rd or 4th time visiting them. they're a great family, and we love 'em. 

Sunday afternoon, we drove home, talking about Harry Potter and listening to my super cheesy church music. and the backseat napped. Eli sorted into Hufflepuff.  Jay and i had some good talks in the front half of the car. it was a good drive back. 

hooray for road trips. 

hooray for memories

hooray for the best calendar year of my life. 

Breven

I felt like being Taylor Swift and telling you about every boy i've ever dated, so i decided to do a little series. It's called, "the two boys i officially dated, and the three i kind of dated." get used to it. But don't worry, there's only 5...maybe that sounds like a lot. only two were fo real. these 5 boys are the ones who i legitimately liked. remember that really awkward "boy" post a couple months ago? well in there i mentioned that i had only actually really liked  7 guys. well two of them were Nolan and Brandon, both of whom i never went on a date with. so these are the five that i did go on dates with. and even out of these five, i only actually DATED 2. like actually dated. like, called them my boyfriend, dated. and I'm gonna tell y'all the good and the bad things. and to the boys who these posts are about? you should have known that this would happen one day. 

So meet Breven.

we met in sixth grade. became friends in 7th grade when we had every class together.

liked him in 8th grade. 

started dating in September of 2008, the very beginning of freshman year.

I know, we were babies, and stupid, and way too young to be dating, and stupid, and babies. and stupid.

At the beginning, it was just fun. because we were already best friends. and we hung out all the time because we both played Water polo. and then Derek's best friend Landon saw us kiss at a football game. awkward TO THE MAX. obviously, Landon black mailed me forEVER threatening to tell Derek if i didn't do everything he said. ha. anyway, I'm sure Landon told Derek right away anyway, because Derek totally knew. I'm sure he told my mom, too, because she knew. but pretended she didn't because she wanted me to tell her. but i just lied to her face everyday for nearly two years.

That was the thing with Breven. He was my best friend, and he got along with my girl best friends, but i lied a lot while i was with him. to my parents, and my friends and to Nolan, which ended up in me and Nolan not really being friends anymore, which sucks.

I thought Breven was worth it.

he wasn't. no offense, dawg. But it really wasn't worth sneaking behind everyone's back.

He cheated on me, Sorry Brev, spillin yo secrets.

 subsequently, I tried to be really cute and girly to impress him all the time. didn't work.

I talked him into doing "Willy Wonka" with me, and he hated staying late for rehearsals. hahaha. it was great. Also Breven, I lied. I DID like Nolan. a lot. 

sorry you had to find out years later, over the internet. 

He hated that i was friends with his older brother. and he hated that my 3 best friends were boys. I hated that  his church was super anti-mormon and that his girl friends were rude to me. 

we were literally the typical high school stupid annoying couple. breaking up once a month. claiming that we "loved" each other, but i mean come on we were 15, what the heck did we know? we were jealous and easily upset and way too comfortable with each other. There is a reason why my parents and my church council youth not to date until you're 16. and even then, not to go steady with anyone during high school. Not only does it increase your likelihood of becoming sexually active before marriage, but it's just emotionally taxing! when you're that young, you don't know how to communicate, or treat people properly or balance a relationship. you have no clue what you're doing, and in the end you get hurt. it's really, truly not worth it.

on our first date, I peed my pants at the restaurant because i laughed so hard. I don't think he ever knew that until now. oh well.

This is our water polo coach. I love him. coach Ross. like i said, we both played water polo. and we were both # 9. but just to make it clear, i was # 9 first. it's always been my favorite number, because my birthday is may 9th. and 9 really is lucky for me. on 9-9-09 I had a water polo game, I wore # 9, i made 9 goals and we won and i felt sooo cool. anyway...

 this picture is from the night we broke up. we were painting a sheet, making a mural i guess. I'm not going into details, but it was just a bad situation, and the next morning, he ended things. I was devastated for a long time, then one day i woke up and i literally could hear birds singing, and I was just like, "why in the heck am i still sad?" and the next week was girls camp, and after that i was never sad about him again. which is good. because our relationship was a joke.

 I hated him for a long, long time, though i tried not to act like it.

 Now we're friends. It's been almost three years since we broke up. He's a Marine, and he may or may not be a mormon.... Ohhhh the irony. He's also engaged. I sent a couple issues of The Ensign and a letter the other day. He's stationed in southern California. And maybe I'll invite him to my wedding. when i have one. far in the future. or maybe he'll just see pictures on Facebook.

whatevs. 

thanks for the memories Breven. mostly for fueling my hatred of Twilight and introducing me to Jimmy Kimmel. and you're welcome for the times that i forced you to read the hunger games and Harry Potter, because those are now your favorite series. Oh and thank you for Nevershoutnever. 

and just so everyone can judge me, our song was "Only You Can Love Me This Way" by Keith Urban

Green for Gold

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday morning. 

NOBODY TOLD ME IT WAS GOING TO BE THIS AWFUL.

or emotional, because i felt like i was crying all day. taha.

apparently i was really concerned that the surgeon had taken out my tongue, so i kept throwing my hand into my mouth trying to make sure my tongue was there. Apparently i was also really adamant that we stayed as far away from Costco as possible. I have no idea. And then I kept asking my mom if i was telling any secrets. She decided to have some fun.

I WAS ON DRUGS MOM. I WAS UNSTABLE. thanks. 

Me: did i tell any secrets?!

Mom: well, you did tell me that you kissed "name of boy i like" last night

Me: NO I DIDN'T! I didn't kiss him! I didn't kiss "name of boy i like"! 

Mom: I know, i know, i was just kidding

Me: *crying* But i didn't even kiss him!

Mom: I know, I'm sorry, it wasn't a funny joke, i shouldn't have said that

Me: I didn't even kiss him! *cry, cry cry*

and then several times on the way home i clarified that i didn't kiss him. and then i reminded her again that i didn't kiss him. I guess i really wanted her to know that i didn't kiss the boy. ha.

and when my mom re-told the story to me after i was sane and not loopy from laughing gas, Jenae whispered to me, "did you, though?"

no jenae, sadly i did not. 

and today my mouth hurts. a lot. the swelling is ridiculous, and i feel like my face is just going to pop from being pumped with so much air. and i HATE bloody gauze.

and remember when i posted the picture of me finding my cherub stocking on Christmas morning and claimed that it was the ugliest picture of me ever?

well this one is second on the list:

I staged it this morning though, so you don't get to see the full swollen affect. I have a square head for the first time in my life.

yumsies.
also, the term "dragon breath" no longer accurately describes the stench coming from my mouth. I cant brush my teeth yet though, or it will agitate the gross craters. So I'll just have to live with this putrescence for another day.


also, replace "green"  with "gold" and this song perfectly describes my life right now:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljuAU_XXaP4

It's taylor swift's "everything has changed." even though it's Tswift, and you hate her, just give it a little listen.