Boys

are you ready for the most awkward blog post you've ever read?

I don't know if i am either hahaha

welp, people. My best friend Mallorie and I drew all over a pair of jeans last summer that we both fit into (we def. don't fit in them now. ha.)

and because we are crazy stupid teenagers, we wrote the names of every boy we'd ever had a crush on/ liked/ dated/ they didn't know that we existed but we already planned the wedding -on the jeans.

I saw those stupid pants today.

and i LAUGHED looking up some of the boys i used to like, seeing them with babies, beards, tattoos, wives or in military uniform. oh boy. pun intended.

SO

I decided to make a complete fool of myself, be really creepy and show you every single one of them. don't worry, i won't show you 25 + pictures. that would just make me too embarrassed to speak.

instead I'll just show you 5. collages. hahaha. I'm SUCH a flipping wierdo. I creeped on facebook and stole their profile pictures. this is kind of a 'where are they now' show for me and it is stinking HILARIOUS, guys. HIGH-larious. I literally cannot believe that i liked some them.

some I'm embarrassed about

and some I'm happy with, because they are nice guys and we're still friends.

one I'm disappointed, because he is great. i was the reason that it didn't work out and it still bugs me.

and then there are a couple awkward newbies to the group, who don't even know they're part of the group. and i may or may not go to school with them right now. and they have NO idea that they're on my blog for the whole world to see. and they have no clue that I had/have crushes on them. tahaha.

also, just to clear anything up, less than 1/4 of these boys ever actually liked me back. So don't go thinking I'm a dang nasty who goes from boy to boy. and don't think I'm bragging, because 21 of these boys ultimately rejected me. sooo....ha. this ain't no dang brag fest. 

I've organized them into categories for you. 

1. Elementary school -that's kindergarten through sixth grade for all you wierdos who had like K-4 

2. Middle School - 7&8 grade

3. Freshman & Sophomore years of high school. aaaaand the summer after.

4. 2011: Junior year, the summer after, and the first half of senior year.

5. this past summer. and now. awkward. don't judge me

ready set go

1. ahhh Elementary school, Jason Ibrahim and Brandon Paul. of course. they're beautiful, dangit! Joseph Gallacher if you ever read this I'm sorry for going on your facebook and stealing your profile picture. I know, I'm creepy. don't judge me. oh hey Joey and Jose. you're gangsters now. good to know.

2. When I think of middle school i want to punch myself in the face, but I'm pretty sure that's how everyone feels. the three G's on the side and homeboy ginger beard in the middle are Donald, Nick and Trevon and Colton. two of them have a child, one of them OD'd on hardcore drugs and two are pot heads. and I'm pretty sure one of them is in jail.....I had great taste, no?

Oh yeah and then there's Travis. hey Travis. 

this is awkward. 

3.Freshman and sophomore year. tsk tsk. Of course there was Landon, everyone had a crush on him, he's gorgeous and fun. David and Zane never knew i liked them. hahaha don't tell them. Zane's like my brother now and I'm pretty sure David forgot i existed. oh well. and then there's Breven. He's a marine now. he's the one in the middle. ha. and He and I were probably the worst mix ever haha. but now that we're older and grown up, we're civil. you could maybe even call us friends.

 And then there's Nolan. I really liked Nolan. a whole flipping lot. and then I made a huge mistake and that pretty much ended things. We're friends now i hope, never really got patched up fully before he left for his mission in Russia. He's hilarious and way too good for me. He gets home in February though, and I'm pretty dang excited to be home for that.

4. junior and senior year were the good guys. not that all the guys before were bad, but all these guys were really good guys. Carson, Ben, Matthew, Trey and Malcolm. Malcolm was just my EFY crush, but he's cool. Matthew is on a mission in Japan and Ben is in Pennsylvania! They're GREAT people. Carson is a piece of work. but I'm glad we were friends. and then there's home skillet Trey. He's a stud, that one. I'm so excited for him to serve a mission too! Trey is one of my best friends actually, I miss him!

5. Oh. now. huh. weird.

well there's Jay. We dated at the end of senior year and the beginning of summer. and yeah, that stopped. ha. but hey I'm glad we were friends and I'm glad that i got to learn a lot of lessons from him and our relationship. then this summer there were a bunch of guys from BYU in Fresno selling dish network over the summer. I had fatty crushes on two of them: Tommy and Tim. sigh. BUT I'm a little girl. and I go to BYU-I. and I'm a baby. and they're like 22. and I'm a dang child. but they're so much fun! and Tim's pancake sauce is literally the BEST breakfast I've ever had in my life. not exaggerating at all. and Tommy rocks! we (me, Derek and Jonathan) hung out with the Dish boys most of the summer, and I miss them! I'm jealous that Derek sees them all the time in Provo -_-

and then there are two boys here. which might be confusing because there are six boy faces in this collage. i guess that just means that you get to decide who you think they are, because there is no way I'm going to say their names hahaha. mostly because if they ever for some odd reason decided to go on my blog (which I've purposefully never told them about) i don't want them to think I'm a giant creepo for stalking them on facebook to get their profile pictures. or for having crushes on them. because they have no clue hahaha I'm so hilarious!

also, it kind of looks like Jay and Tim have their arms around each other, but that's just where the collage maker decided to put Tim. haha. right in jay's arms. 

apparently 5 is my number. because i never had a crush on more than five guys within two years. DON'T JUDGE ME, I KNOW THAT STILL SOUNDS LIKE A LOT. but really, if you think about it the average crush has got to be only like 3-4 months right? and then you either don't like them anymore or you get the courage to tell them. and then 4 out of 5 times they'll reject you. so you move on to someone else. so 25 in 18 years (realistically, it's probably more like 13 because who has crushes before 5 years old?) so 25 in 13 years, that's about every two months. but some of these guys i liked way longer than 2 months. and some I've liked a lot less than 2 months. one of these guys i had a crush on for five days. (I'm a teenager) one guy i only liked for 10, one i liked for more than a year.
13 of the 25 were blonde
11 were brunette or had black hair
1 is a ginger. ha.
18 were white. 2 were black. 4 were Mexican and 1 is Persian.
20 are about 6 feet tall now. 4 are not that tall and 1 is REALLY not that tall.
11 had abnormal names.
12 were Mormon when i liked them, 1 recently converted (not because of me) and 12 are not Mormon. none of the guys i liked from 7 & 8 grade are Mormon, all of the boys i liked in 2011 (Junior & first half of senior year) are.
none of the boys I've liked have ever repeated the same name, which i think is weird.
I only actually liked 7 of these boys and of those i only dated 2. the other 18 were just crushes, so stop judging me, I'm not a floozy.

I don't regret any of these crushes. or relationships. even though some were stupid. they're what I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful for all the lessons i learned and the friends I've made. and I'm grateful for the HUNDREDS of awkward moments that came from conversations of situations with these boys. I'm grateful they got to be a part of my life, and that i got to be at least a small part of theirs.
also I'm glad that I've never been in love. there's a big difference between loving someone and being in love, you know? I love Brandon, i love Nolan, I love Ben. they're all great!
but I've never been in love, and I'm glad. Glad that i still get to feel that. get to experience that. I want my future husband to be the only person I've been in love with.
Some might say that's naive, because then 'how will you know that you're in love if you've never been?'
pffft. I'll know. because it will be nothing like I've ever felt before. and It's going to be flipping great. and I really hope no one sees this post the wrong way. I'm just extremely bored and trying to entertain myself, okay? next time I'll post about something not weird or uncomfortable, i promise.

to break away from the semi serious paragraph i have one more little statistic:

and This one's for you mom - you'll be interested to know that in fact 100% of the boys I've liked in my life have big or peculiar noses. 100%.
apparently that's my thing.
I'm grateful for boys.
peath out.