To all future boys in my life:

I seem to have a hard time with you species. I don't understand you. you probably don't understand girls either, and i don't like it when one girl tells a guy, "oh this:____ is how all girls are"

no.

i am not all girls.

i am different from most girls, dang it. and i don't know the stupid secret girl code that tells me how to flutter my eyelashes and win your heart so I'll just be really honest with you. here:

• if i make you food? crushin' big time.
•  i don't like people at my house, because then i don't have control over when things end for the night. and i feel like i have to wear makeup and not-sweatpants. i don't like people at my house for more than 2 hours, and i don't like them over late at night. guests and salmon, they say. after a few hours, they stink. SO. if i invite you over, i probably like you. 
• If i want to talk to you, i will. i don't play stupid mind games. i hope you don't either
• if i want to go out on a date with you, and you're taking to long, i'll ask you. deal with it. 
• if i let you hold my hand, i like you. if i hold YOUR hand? i must like you a lot.
• if we kiss, we're dating. so if you don't want a girlfriend, don't kiss me, it's not that hard. we can go on dates and have fun and not kiss. kissing is a big deal to me, it's commitment. i don't just go around kissing people, so don't you dare kiss me if you're not that into me. 
• i try to say what i mean and mean what i say. so don't go looking for hidden meanings or layered text messages, that's stupid. i don't do that. 
• i am not a chaser, i'm over being the 15 year old girl who goes after cute boys. 
• i love to laugh, and i laugh a lot. it's a really annoying giggle and my hard laugh sounds like a harpooned whale. you have been warned. 
• I will probably fall hard and fast for you, but don't get crazy. that doesn't mean that i'll be slipping Tiffany's catalogs into your backpack, i promise. i'm not going hurry you into anything. not all mormon girls are holding knives to their boyfriend's backs demanding a diamond, you know.
• i do not do tickling or back rubs, so you can just get that out of your head right now. 
• i don't do Will Ferrell. i just don't.
• don't give up on me and i won't give up on you.
• i am the mushies, sappiest, cheesiest, hopeless romantic you will probably ever meet. 

well this seems really cynical, but i'm just tryna help a brotha out. not that there is a boy, cause there's definitely not. but just in case there are any creepers out there...there you have it. the keys to me. dear Mallorie Lane you are hereby given the responsibility of showing this post to all prospective boys, because you know I'm not going to refer them to my blog.

here's the real kicker. the straight and easy way to my heart. I'm not exaggerating. If you want me to like you, ALL you have to do, is bring me Swedish Fish. preferably the 5lb bag. and you're set. you think i'm being sarcastic, but I'm 100% serious. 

Thanksgiving

I've been all alone this week. 

I kinda like it, because i can wear sweat pants and greasy hair all day and no one judges me. also, i can listen to Bastille as loooooud as i want, i can sing as loud and as often as i want. BASICALLY I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. hahaha. 

ANYWAY.

so i spent all night wednesday cooking and cleaning the house, woke up early thursday and showered, then finished cleaning and cooking. Jonathan came over a little early to de-bone the chicken (we're too poor for turkey) because you KNOW i was not about to touch all those nasty little bones. nope. 

and then Chris and my FHE brother Austin came over with their potlucky dishes. Chris' sweater = 10 points for gryffindor. and way to go Aussy for bringing pie. I totally spaced it on that, ha. 

we were just the lonely hearts club 

 i promise i looked WAY more presentable in real life, ha. no idea what is going on here with my shirt, or my "i look 50 lbs heavier than i am" blouse. 

And I promise that my teeth are not this white in real life, either. i'm blaming the flash. 

we played Christmas songs during dessert, CAUSE WE CAN. and Christopher got a little wild during Celine Dion's 'Oh Holy Night'

I had a bunch of gourds on the table for decoration, and i came out of the kitchen to Jonathan saying this, "Who am I?!"

and Chris and I diiiiiiiiiiied laughing

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahah...haha.....ha...ha

ohh man. 

that will never NOT make me laugh. 

Starting to regret yanking this shirt from the dressing room in high school because it just does weird things.

Jonathan fell asleep while we were waiting to skype with our family gathered in LA. we miss you guys! and I am SO jealous that Jenae and Derek get to be smothered by nieces and nephews. miss my babies. they're not even my kids, but they're mine, alright? miss those little squirrelies. 

Thankful Thankful Thankful.

for lots of things. 

mostly family.

my 23 favorite people (and a peanut!) on earth. 

Catching Fire

Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire Catching Fire
set = perfect, cast = perfect, FINNICK = PERFECT, acting in general = sooooo much better, Plutarch Heavensbee = perrrrrrfect,
but,
needs more peeta less Gale, always less Gale. more Cinna! less Joanna Mason.
also, i don't think Katniss could have kissed anymore people in this movie! ha.

tick tock.

"Oh, mother of pearl, Beans! MOTHER OF PEARL!"

In case anyone was wondering what my favorite Disney Channel Movies are, i was feeling nostalgic and made a list of all the ones i could think of:

-Love Leads the Way (the story of the first Seeing Eye Dog! reeeeeal cheesy and old, but i like it.)
- the night train to Katmandu (a brat from California falls in love with a sherpa while on vacation in Nepal with her family. hahahahahaha.)
-Not Quite Human (so i had a crush on Chip. and Alan Thicke. don't judge me.)
-PERFECT HARMONY (SO GOOD. integration + boys singing classical music=amazing)
-Susie Q (a fifties teenager comes back in ghost form to win back her house, haha.)
-Wish Upon a Star (two sisters who switch lives. JUST ADDED TO NETFLIX INSTANT. YES.)
-the Paper Brigade :)
- You Lucky Dog! (a clever murder mystery with Kirk Cameron? yes, please.)
- Brink! (Erik Von Detten's hair, no further info needed.)
- SMART HOUSE [(Ryan Merriman was in 879 disney channel movies (actually only 3) and i never got tired of him.)]
- Genius (i like Hockey movies)
- Alley Cats Strike! (so cheesy, but so much yes.)
- the Other Me (so...i loved all the movies with the Lawrence Brothers.)
- PHANTOM OF THE MEGAPLEX. (don't know why)
- Mottocrossed (a girl pretending to be her brother in a dirt bike competition)
- Jumping Ship (sequel to 'Horse Sense'. plus? modern day pirates and more Lawrence brothers.)

- TRU CONFESSIONS (MY FAVORITE EVER. Shia Lebouf as a mentally handicapped teenager.)

- You Wish! (I hate spencer breslin but i love twitty, and i also collect coins!)
- the Even Stevens Movie. DUH.
- Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-off (because it reminds me of Jason Ibrahim)
- Full Court Miracle (a movie about a Jewish high school? heck yeah! their mascot was the Maccabees!)
- Going to the Mat (the True story of a blind wrestler. played by Matthew Lawrence, of course.)
- High School Musical (1 and 3. hate on it)
- Minutemen (using technology to help others is cool, even if it's predictable, alright?)
- Camp Rock (lamest movie EVER. but I will ALWAYS love the jobros and i DONT care. haha.)
- Geek Charming (judge me. but hello, Matt Prokop? dreamy.)

AND THAT'S EVERYTHING, FOLKS.

Patrick

Continuing my 'grateful' posts, i decided to make them all people.

Today, Patrick

He taught me how to communicate like an adult, aha. Also He just made me super happy. The first time we talked just us, he was comforting me, and i feel like that's what he did every time we talked after that, too. He's a pretty confident guy, and i like that. He's hilarious, some days i feel like all i did was laugh when he was around. He is brilliant. He is kind. He sings 10x better than me. His friends are fun.

He introduced me to Asian food. He truly embraced me for me, and even encouraged it. That for me is what distinguishes my friends from my acquaintances. He is the best listener ever. I talk a lot. He tells me what i need to hear and not what i necessarily want to hear. He calmed me down when i'm getting nervous, scathing, or too hyper. He supported me and believed in me. 

He made me want to be the absolute best i could be. I could talk to him for hours, and i did. I could tell him anything and everything, and i have. He bought me pizza, so he earned a permanent seal of approval, haha. He taught me a lot about sharing my beliefs. His faith in God inspires me. He was totally okay with me being brutally and embarrassingly honest, and he liked that i don't beat around the bush or play mind games. He has a fanny pack, so obviously we were pals. 

(hahahaha^ the most awkward picture.)

His eyes. they're a million different shades of gold everyday depending on his shirt.

I'm grateful for all the things that Patrick taught me. And i'm glad i had him as a friend in the winter when i was worried i would be alone. I'm thankful for his happy example in my life. 

I regret not staying in better contact with each other when i left for school in mid-April, but we both had goodish reasons and i think it was for the best. I'm grateful for his friendship.

I'm excited to have thanksgiving dinner with him next week and be real life friends again, because he's just a really good guy.

Rachel

Last semester i had THE BEST roommates. i loved them all but today i am grateful for Rachel, who i became unexpectedly really close to. She is wonderful and there are a million things i could say about her. here are just a few of my favorite memories:

the MOST movies. we both love them, and there are a lot she hasn't seen, so that was a favorite past time. 

 we went to almost every. single. one. of Chris's rec games, and he played 3 sports, so it was a lot of cheering. haha. but Rachel gets crazy. this was at Chris' baseball game, where we both unknowingly wore baseball tees and thought we were hilarious.

whispering in big groups about people we don't like. haha we're awful. 

making 3 am pizza together and watching Les Mis at full volume BECAUSE WE CAN. 

watching the sun rise with her. alot. hahaha. Veeeeeerrry often last semester i didn't sleep at all. i don't know how or why, but at least twice a week i wouldn't sleep at all, so instead of spending the enTIRE night tossing and turning in bed, i just started staying up until i was actually tired which usually ended up being at sunrise. so there were a lot of mornings when i would be heading to bed and Rachel would be just waking up, and we'd watch the sunrise together from the kitchen table. 

she creeped on boys for me when i was stuck at home doing homework

 Rachel + Chris = my unexpected spring best friends.

puzzles, and FOOD, and Harry Potter movies and the deepest most uplifting talks of my life. they force me to leave the house, so that's good.

[excuse me in these pictures. no makeup, wild hair, and an old dingy t-shirt. I had an unhealthy obsession with 'Merlin' and these pictures were taken at a goodbye bonfire that Chris used as my intervention. ha.]

can we pause this ode to Rachel for a second and acknowledge the fact that me and derek look alike in these two pictures? kay.

 toward the end of the school year, it got HOT. (okay like 90 degrees max but we had no air conditioning.) so everyone in the dorms bought giant fans and had them in their kitchen windows. honestly, every apartment had one or more of these bad boys. (ours was purple!) so every once and a while there were brown outs. one day we're sitting in the kitchen and it was the HOTTEST day of my life. i ran a shirt under the faucet and then stuck it in the freezer. i was sitting at the table drinking Kool-aid, Rachel and I were discussing Julian Assange and homeschooling and Richard G Scott's life. and may i repeat, it was HOT. and the power went out with an audible *druuuuuuuuuuuur* Rachel stopped mid-word, and her already doe eyes grew three sizes. her mouth curled into a grimace and she frantically glanced out the window and then at the fan and then the fridge, and then she threw back her head and screamed like the girl from Avatar when the humans were destroying Hometree. 

and then we looked at each other and busted up laughing.

later that evening, it was still hot, and the power was still out, so we laid on the balcony with our feet over the edge, and i was wearing my frozen shirt, and we talked for hours that night. that's probably my favorite memory of her. just laying there talking about nothing and everything. we were both frustrated that there were a million people in our house that no one invited over, so we just stayed outside. and ignored all the people trying to walk past us. the power eventually came back on but we stayed outside and watched a freak lightning storm, and it was bittersweet because it was finals week and we were all going home soon. I love/hated that night. 

 I just love Rachel, okay? we'll homeschool each other's kids, and spend forever laughing at our hilarious selves. that's another thing, Rachel could make me LAUGH. and that is my favorite thing in a person. 

to end, here's a picture of Rachel on top of a mountain where she was almost bit by a huge snake and we rolled our eyes at a prissy girl asking to be given a piggy back ride down fro a cute boy. HA. 

Rachel, i love ya. and if i stay in Rexburg for the winter, we WILL be rooming together again. 

Dear Katie,

I have ten nieces and nephews, and the oldest is Katelyn. My Dear Katie Rose. I just love her. and for some reason this week I've been thinking a lot about her. How much i love her and how smart she is, all the things i hope for her and the experiences i'm excited to share with her. 

Today I'm grateful for little (big!) kate.

I love her big brown eyes and her beautiful hair. she's such a good sister and she is so gentle.

she's HILARIOUS. seriously, she's so clever and spunky!

I love her voice and her height. She is brilliant, as well. SO smart. I love that we both play the piano and i love that she loves Star Wars and Harry Potter like i do. 

(THOSE PAJAMA PANTS, THOUGH.)

she is so spirited and i love her very distinctive personality. i love her smile and her happy little self.

I LOVE that she reads. I read Harry Potter for the first time in first grade and she's not much older than i was and she's started the series. *tearful sniff* Hermionie Granger for life.

I love her freckles, i love her mix of baby and adult teeth. i love her voice and her laugh, i love that she is such a quick thinker and so strong. Oh, Katie. I just love you. Next summer you're turning 8 and i don't know how i feel about you growing up so fast. it seems like yesterday that i first held you in Provo, i was 12.  later, I played with you in the grass in front of your apartment with the dogwood trees and you were still so little, and you couldn't even talk yet but i knew you loved me like i love you.

I'm grateful for our matching brown eyes and our mutual love for literature. i can't wait to discuss my favorite books with you! I'm grateful that i get to be your aunt, and your friend. 

My favorite memory of you was in the back of your parent's mazda, at our family reunion 2012. we were driving to the springs and you were reading a book about pirates. I asked you what it was about and you related the whole plot with emphatic expressions and hand movements. your eyes were bright and your smile was undeniable. i love your freckles so much! haha. it was then that i realized you were no longer a little kid. you were so big and tall and you were reading an actual book. i rustled your hair and you looked at me like i was crazy, but i just laughed. you're so beautiful katie, and i hope you never ever doubt that. you are beautiful inside and out. 

I think of you a lot. because I've realized that i need to be an example to you and how i hope you will be proud of me and i hope i can always be someone you can look up to. 

I love you so much, and i always will, no matter what. 

love love love, 

Aunt Melissa

Beanie with a Purple stripe

I meant to list something i'm grateful for everyday, since you know, it's November and all. But I've been forgetting. well today's the 10th, so here are 10 things I've been grateful for so far this month:

1) SNOW

2) Mallorie Lane, for not getting mad when i do things like this:

hahahahahahaahahahaha

 we're best friends. 

3) MOVIES. seriously. I went to go see the Saratov Approach with Chris (twice...) and I saw Ender's Game on Friday. SO GOOD. My my Homeboy Asa butterfield tore it UP. 

 4) Bountiful Basket. it's a bunch of fruits and veggies every weekend, what's not to love?! and also, when i get bored, i can scrape amateur panoramas into the peels of a zucchini and no one questions me.

5) Brolums FINALLY has peas and carrots! HALLELUJAH! i can finally enjoy my mac n cheese properly!

6) (I won a Jamba Juice gift card for winning the scroll Sudoku drawing, which was awesome and why i took this picture) THIS BEANIE. Christopher picked it out and Jaylene bought it to bribe me to do a cartoon of me mal and Jay. Jayleney you have created a monster. I"M NEVER TAKING THIS BEANIE OFF. I don't care if it makes me looks like a stoner, it is comfy as all get out. 

7) Evelyn Kay. sweet girl, i love her. look at those perfect eyes!!

8) Chad. for bein' our pal even though we're WAY overpowering. and just for being all around perfect. He's in love with out next door neighbor now, so we don't see him as much, and that's too bad.  hahaha. and also, thank you for introducing us to the phrase, "laughy". 

as in.. "This picture is too.....laughy." an expression to be heard often around these parts. thanks, chad.

9) Maxim. i don't care how creepy this is. My manager's son is adorable. here he is, wrapped in a blanket because it was cold outside and he was wearing only a diaper, waiting for his mom to finish our cleaning check. he was watching us carve pumpkins and he thought it was fascinating. 

10) doodling. it's the only thing that gets me through my math class.