Linebacker

Today's lookin' good. 

and it's only 2:45.

So yesterday i tried to be gutsy and impressive, and i thought it'd worked. i was giddy all evening.

and then i woke up at 4 am, sat straight up in bed and whispered, "oh, NO. what have i DONE." 

and then i figuratively crawled under a rock and died of humiliation.

you see, the golden haze from the events of the previous afternoon had cleared and i realized that instead of  being breathtaking in a coy way, i was breath taking in a literal, i'm knocking the wind out of you, i should try out for the NFL, kind of way. but i didn't realize it until it was far, far, far too late.

(^from Strongbad Emails: Children's Book. hilarity.)

luckily, i'm this awkward all of the time. so this particular embarrassment was only slightly out of character and was easily chuckled away by the other party.

 BUT NEVER BY ME. 

i will never forget this. 

i will lay awake at night replaying those ten seconds for the next week, picturing all the things i could have done differently. i swear. hahaha. ugh. 

an entire team of Hollywood's best writers could never assemble a rom-com as intricately clumsy as my love life. nor one so unbearably awkward. i am matchlessly inept. 

but i promise, i really do try to behave normally. 

i TRY to be coy. i try to flirt. it doesn't work. not the way i picture in my head.

but somehow, SOMEHOW, it is working. 

and it's surprising and happy.

so three cheers for a boy who is okay with my two left feet and my blundering head.

and who can deal with the rough edges. 

and with me saying all this on the internet.

somebody give him a trophy.