tongues an' stuff.

just some occurrences that all had to do with the same body part lately:

Monday. Mid-morning, i'm walking to my World Religions class. it's in the Hinckley Building, and i was coming from the Romney, which is a long walk at BYU-Idaho. and just my luck, i got stuck walking behind the same couple the entire walk up the hill.
yes.
i tried really really hard not to listen to their conversation, because you know, people think that's rude an' stuff. whatever, i listened. and they were super weird. and that's coming from me.
they chatted about their pet turtle and their aunt in St.George who is really going to miss the heat of summer and about the husband's appointment with the chiropractor the next afternoon.
cute, cute, right?
well then, FINALLY, we'd reached the Hinckley building and the couple started doing that 'flirty' "you say goodbye." "No, YOU say goodbye" thing.
i was catching up to them and about to pass them and walk up the steps. I breathed a sigh of relief but it was much, much much, too early.
as i was thinking that i'd finally be rid of this couple, i heard the husband say, "okay, now tongue kiss me goodbye"

OH. MAH. Wait, people say that outloud in public? people call it 'tongue kissing'? uhmm?

AND THEN MY EYES BEHELD

they were literally tongue kissing.

T.M.I. AHEAD:

(and when i say that, i mean that they had stuck their tongues out as far as possible, and then were touching just the tips of their tongues to each other, and wiggling them slightly. )

Then tuesday morning i woke up, and i had cracks all down the middle of my tongue, right down the middle? right. down. the middle. and they HURT. i looked up a ton of stuff about tongue fissures online and it all said that fissures happened over long periods of time, but mine had happened overnight!
The internet claimed that fissures usually developed in childhood and were benign, not cuasing any trouble. but i'm 20. and mine HURT.
so i was kind of freaking out.

This morning during my 7:45 AM CLASS (yes, pity me, please.) the girl next to me sneezed, into her hand. and i could tell by the way her eyes grew about 7 inches in circumference that she needed a tissue. but right as i was about to offer her one,

SHE LICKED. HER HAND.

just licked it.

K NO THANKS, I'M OUT.

you guys, i couldn't make this up if i wanted to. 

WHO DOES THAT

WHAT TWENTY SOMETHING COLLEGE STUDENT DOES THAT,

 and in front of people!

EW.



anyway, so i went to the doctor this afternoon and it turns out that i have a bug that's going around the Rexburg area, and my tongue, lymph nodes, ear canals, and tonsils being swollen (which apparently they all were, and i only noticed the tongue because it was so dramatic) were all side effects of this illness.
So my tongue actually wasn't cracked, it was just so swollen that my natural creases were severly exaggerated because my tongue is so stretched out. and because the crevices were exposed, they were really sensitive to extreme tastes.
He also said it's more common in people with Anemia, so watch out Allison! the "swollen everything" virus is comin' to get 'cha!

Just kidding. 

but he told me to go get some Vitamin C and Iron supplements (i got them in the form of inexpensive Mickey Mouse Gummies) and drink a ton of water, and i'd be fine in a couple of days. 

oh, and to make sure i gently crush my tongue so that no food gets trapped in the crevices while they're bared.

gross. 

okay i promise no to post about the human body ever again k thanks bye.