I like me

"Gold" from my new obsession, ONCE the new Broadway musical 

I got in a facebook argument yesterday. I never do that, because people look stupid when they argue with strangers over the internet. but UGH.

so a friend of mine who has struggled with serious eating disorders in the past posted a picture of her one-year-healthy self with the caption, "I think I'm pretty and there's nothing wrong with that."

and someone commented, "wow. that's cocky."

i thought maybe they were joking but her further comments made it clear that she was not. 

so i got in an argument with a stranger and was a little embarrassed by it, but only a little.

because, seriously?!

women are connnnnstantly fed ideas of beauty and are told, "you should think you're beautiful!". but hardly ever think that. my friend so adamantly disagreed with those ideals that she was harming her self to become what other people perceived as 'pretty'. she overcame that and finally thinks she is beautiful just for being her and you're going to tear her down? 

In my spanish 2 class in high school our teacher was listing off adjectives and we had to raise our hands if we thought we fit that description. when she said, "bonita" only one girl raised her hand. 

that one girl was named Alisha and yes, she is Bonita. she also has a lovely heart, which makes her even more beautiful, but anyway. I was happy that she raised her hand because i respected her, but someone whispered that she was conceited and our teacher freaked out.

"Chicas, you are ALL beautiful! and I'm not just saying that! And Alisha, be proud of yourself."

and i agree with her. 

yes, having good confidence is unfortunately abnormal today. but goodness, why on earth would someone tear down someone else for being happy with their looks? I know some people are just straight up cocky, but if a girl is honestly just confident, there is a noticeable difference and that's a GOOD thing!  It's GOOD for girls to think they are attractive. YOU GO, ALISHA. and YOU GO, CHARITY.

grrr.

My Roommate Mallorie is in a Humanities class this semester, and she had a photography assignment this week. Me and our friend handsome friend Chad were her victims. 

and for the record, she told me super last minute the day before it was due, so yes, i am wearing this:

ha. the best part is that i definitely would have been wearing almost the exact outfit even if she had told me weeks prior. CROCS AND TSHIRTS FOR DAYYYYYS.

"one day I'll be a grown up and wear pants even when I'm at home.

BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY"  - Aragorn The Return of the King

ANYWAY.

 I usually don't like pictures that other people take of me because i don't feel like they look like me. But i like these, because I'm actually smiling, and I feel like this is how i actually look; little makeup, men's clothing, smiling. the only things these are missing is a fanny pack and my hair in a ponytail on the TOP of my head.

I do not like talking about my face. I feel uncomfortable talking about my looks, because people who talk about their looks too much are labeled 'stuck-up' or 'insecure'.

nobody ever taught me how to do makeup or which hairstyles or clothes were stylish.

and i'm grateful for that.

thank you mom for letting me always wear whatever the heck kind of styles i wanted to. thank you for embracing my differences and my boldness. I have a unique taste, and i'm glad that you just always let me be me. you never told me that my clothes were ugly or that i should wear this certain outfit to this certain thing because it was cuter. 

thank you for that.

Nobody ever told me what styles were in and what wasn't. i will NEVER be able to say how grateful i am for that, because it let me form my own opinions and create my own style. 

I am not perfect at all, i have a lot of characteristics that might rub people the wrong way but nobody can say that i am a sell out or a phony or a sheep or anything other than my own dang self. I am very much my own person and I am true to myself.

I like myself. i haven't always. but i do right now. 

and i like these pictures of me. I think they're cute, so they're going here.

i'm blessed with family who have never made me feel like anything less than a million bucks. My parents raised me to believe that i am a Daughter of God. I think i am. and that in and of itself makes me beautiful. sounds cheesy, but it's true. 

My big brother Derek is a giant reason why i am confident. He doesn't know it, but he is. 

He came home from his mission and i had been dressing 'weirdly' for awhile. I mean, my mom and friends thought it was weird. I thought it was cool, and i haven't changed my mind. but Derek came home and just embraced my wardrobe for what it was. heck, he jumped right along beside me! He bought me fanny packs and encouraged my sweaters and old dresses. He said "dawg". he listened to my weird music. he drove me to every thrift store around, he egged me on into getting crocs, he complimented me because he could see my personality coming out through my dress, and he could see that it made me really happy to dress the way i felt. When he came home from his mission, Derek saw that i was way into pottery and other art, so he bought me paint and canvases for Christmas and then drooled over everything i did. He read my blog and called me brave for putting my feelings on the internet. He nudged me along in singles ward and helped me break out of my comfort zone and make friends and do hard things. He lit a fire inside me for spreading the Gospel of Christ. He is probably the biggest contributor besides my parents to my self-image.

Thanks, Dawg.

So I've been blessed with incredible people who have lifted me up my entire life.

because of that, I like myself.

I don't like it that people in the world are always shoving beauty standards down my throat.

I am tired of being told what i should do to be pretty.

I don't like it that some people think that I'm cocky for thinking I'm beautiful in my own way. 

what a double standard! 

"you should be proud of your looks, girls! you are gorgeous! everyone is! have some confidence!"

okay, i will!

I think i'm beautiful, and there is nothing wrong with me thinking that.

THERE ARE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY APPEARANCE, AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, STRANGER ON FACEBOOK! BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL, ALRIGHT? THESE ARE THE THEM: 

I have a dimple on the left side of my mouth, above my lip but under my cheek. i have slight dimples in my cheeks. more like laughter lines than dimples, and the one on the left is more pronounced. and i have one on each side of my chin and the right one is more pronounced

 (i like them a lot, but you can't always see the ones on my chin in pictures cause they look like acne scars.) 

 light freckles over my nose and the tops of my cheeks

I have dark lips and i think they're pretty.

I really like my eyes. I think that Brown is great. same goes for my hair. i like that my hair gets darker the closer it is to the roots, and I've never dyed it, it's just like that. i like it.

 art hands

my smile

my shoulders are broad and strong

i used to have a freckle on my forehead, a little to the right of the middle (just like Harry Potter's scar). i have no idea what happened to it, but i definitely had one when i was younger. 

my legs in my brown jeans

my fingernails 

my nose is a good medium size

I think I'm beautiful, and that's a good thing for a teenage girl to think.

and you're beautiful, too, dang it. and you should tell me what you like about yourself. 

Bike For Sale

Dear Rexburg, ID; 

I'm selling my bike. (don't tell my mom.) sad day. but food is more important than bikes. i digress. 

I know $150 for a used bike sounds like a lot, but i paid $250 with taxes 

(Here's the Walmart page, if you'd rather buy it full price from a store)

 and only rode it 6 times, so it really is like new. 

there are a few tiny nicks in the paint on the front wheel cover, the bike is dusty because it's been sitting for so long, and the front wheel could probably use a little air.

other than that, it's in tip top shape!

plus i'm including the 3 year service warranty. if you ever have problems with the bike, Walmart will fix it for frizzles! that's awesome!

so you'll get a WAY cute bike, the owner's manual, the 3 yr service warranty, and the lock with 2 keys.
$150 

if you're interested, you can email at Melissamichiale@yahoo.com and I'll give you my cell phone number or we can keep communicating via email. 

thank you thank you!

Mel

lately

I would just like to point out to certain haterz (lookin' at you, Brandon.) that it has been a whole 5 days since i posted, so there.

now back to normal.

first of all, I would just like to say this to a boy named Doug (actually Doug will prolly never read this but i want my mom to know that i spoke prematurely on the phone and that he and i are honestly just friends, and i'm 100% cool with that.) so here:
you are cool and fun and real cute. i put myself out there the ball has been in your court for a while, pal.
So i'm assuming we're for suresies just friends. not like we were ever anything more than that, but i'm officially declaring to myself that the ship has sailed.
cool?
cool.
and besides, we make a pretty good set of just friends, anyway. Dark side skittles and Broadway all day.


Also, as my dear sister Allison has pointed out in the past, i'm pretty dang up front on this here blog. that's the way i like it, and that's the way it's gonna stay. I realize it's uncomfortable sometimes to hear my intimate thoughts. and i know saying everything that comes to my mind bluntly can make me look like a seventh grade girl. OH WELL, THAT'S ME. on the inside, I'm just Lizzie McGuire. frozen at age 14 forever.

moving on.


the other night i was washing my face and my makeup was running like the lady from Mulan.

for real, though. 

also, I went to a halloween party/straw maze with my ward. I dressed up as one of my FHE brothers, Kevin. who i tried to make dress up like me, but he wasn't diggin the crocs. his loss. 

And Mallorie dressed up like our other FHE brother Kyle, who dressed up as Tigger. okay.

also, can Mallorie and Kyle date already? cause they're adorable. K, thanks. 

the Thug Life chose me.

 and Jaylene was Miss Kay from Duck Dynasty (because we originally planned to be Willie, Si, and Kay, but Mallorie changed her mind and i agreed because i'm the best friend ever.)

best good friends

yes, please.

also, this is Chad.

 Chad Chad-dy Chaddy Chad Chad. 

HE IS PERFECT. 

and yes, mom, i am allowed to change my mind as often as a six year old girl.

^ the most attractive being on the planet.

lastly, i went to Utah for the weekend. and by weekend i mean we left at 3pm on friday and came back at 6pm on Saturday. 26 hours. 9 of which were spent driving, another 9 spent sleeping, and another 2 spent watching "The Saratov Approach" in theaters (GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW) with my best guy pal Christopher, who i forced into going to in-n-out after the show, because he'd never been! what the heck!

and Yesterday was great. and tonight we carved pumpkins for FHE.
and My sister had been putting pictures of her mischievous 18 month old daughter, Jenna, on Facebook. So I've been laughing all day, so that's good.

15 reasons why today was the best

YES, I'M POSTING TWICE IN ONE DAY. SORRY. NOPE, NOT SORRY.




For no particular reason, today was a good day.
and those are the best good days, i think.




1. My senior year of high school i did paintings of the ten virgins, and in my head i named them. I went through the Bible Dictionary finding ten women from the bible, five wise and five foolish, and in my head, those were the names of the virgins i drew. My favorite wise virgin i named Salome, and i think about her a lot. And today, i was reading Matthew's account of the Crucifixion, and he says:

              55 And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering               unto him:

              56 Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother               of Zebedee’s children.

i wondered if the mother of Zebedee's children (John & Andrew, the apostles) had a name, so i dug around. she does. It's Salome.

2. walking to class with Mal and laughing really loudly the whole way there because we're so funny 

3. Reading 1984 in my World History class and thinking of Mrs.Watterson, one of my favorite people ever.

4. Every day i have an hour break in between 2 of my classes, so i go the cafeteria, get a dollar burger and do homework before my Family Foundations class. everyday there are a group of the cooks who come and sit at a random table and eat lunch together. they are hilarious and witty middle aged round people and i like them. today they sat by me, and i felt really cool. they asked me what i was doing, i tried to explain the concept of Pottermore to them, but it went way over their heads. when my hour was up i thanked them for great conversation and smiled the whole way to class. 

5. i showed up a little early to my family class. this class is my favorite professor, Brother Peterson. when he walked in, the professor from the previous class was still in the room, talking with a student. Brother Peterson smiled and then began to YODEL. yes, yodel. and THEN. the other professor, without breaking eye contact with his student YODELED BACK. my jaw dropped and i glanced around, hoping someone else had witnessed the glory. i caught my professor's eye and we both busted up laughing. then Brother peterson played a yodeling song and he and the other professor lip synced the entire thing, and we all died laughing. best thing. 

6. finishing a rough sudoku puzzle in pen with no mistakes. YES. satisfying.

7. having pen names in my writing class. Luna Lovegood. 

8. The teacher of said writing class doesn't comply with the university rules that 6 absences = failure and ejection from course because he thinks it restricts our agency. so he has no absence policy. so there's only about 10 kids that go. i feel like I've already explained this. ANYWAY. so the ten of us that go every day are pretty close, actually. and i love it. I'm getting all sentimental right now, actually, because i love them! we're friends, and i like that. anyway, today my friends Caleb and Chris R and I just had a ball. we were grading each other's rough drafts, and laughed a lot, that's my favorite. and then we walked to our next class together, and that was great.

9. In the middle of our peer grading, i stopped Chris R and said, "look out the window!" we all crowded around the window (including our teacher, who is an adorable oldish man) and looked down at a little family playing in the colorful leaves. "awwww" and "how cute!" were the general consensus. It made me happy. and even happier that they were black. not in a racist way at all, i just love black people. I miss people of color, there are too many white kids in Idaho, haha. but really, i miss Madera's color and culture sometimes.

10. fall leaves and light sweater weather.

11. a friend not knowing the name of the play, "Sweeney Todd" and explaining it as, "the demon barber who cooks and has long hair? there's a movie and that annoying pirate is the main guy." yes, please. 

12. THE BRAD PITT RULE. it never fails, guys. never fails. 

13. no math class today/ the classical music section of the testing center

14. The BackStreet boys and Weezer on reeeeeepeat.

15. Charlie Brown band-aids.

foolproof

"If every choice I make expresses a preference, if the world I build up is the world I really love and want, then with every choice I am judging myself, proclaiming all the day long to God, angels, and my fellowmen where my real values lie, where my treasure is, the things to which I give supreme importance. Hence, in this life every moment provides a perfect and foolproof test of your real character, making this life a time of testing and probation." - Hugh Nibley Zeal Without Knowledge 1978

"King of Pride Rock" Hans Zimmer The Lion King (if you couldn't tell, i love me some Hans)

Sardines

"I want one!"

"hmm? one what?"

"a cartoon of me! only, in mine, I wanna be sitting in a big plush chair, reading an ornate book in a velvet robe. okay, cool."

"uhhhhh...kay."

i let him forget he'd asked, not planning on actually doing it. 

and then i drew one anyway just because i mean, i can't say no to dimples, alright? i just can't. 

don't judge me. 

i promise it's not creepy that i drew a two foot cartoon of a boy...

excuse the color of his face. I had to watercolor it because i don't have a marker the color of his skin. 

and then the shading is all wrong. but who cares cause even though it barely looks like him? he loved it. 

He's trying real hard not to laugh, but his roommate Kevin kept poking his face and trying to take off his hat to show his new haircut that he doesn't like.

in other news, Duck Dynasty is a big deal around these parts. 

My roommate Jaylene posted this smashing photo of me onto instagram the other night with the caption, "#wheredemboizat #singleasadolla" and i thought it was pretty dang hilarious. 

i look good in a beard if i do say so myself.

some general lessons learned today:

-reading the 3 little pigs outloud to a class of college students is fun. 'specially cause there are ten people who regularly go to that class, so we're all pretty good pals. 

-Sardines is fun for about ten minutes, and then i get bored. so maybe a few of us left early while we were supposed to be searching, and then maybe the other 9 members of the group were angry. that's understandable. I'm a little sorry.

whoops, let my twitterpation distract me from reason again.

WHAT'S NEW.

-fruit salad is nasty the second day

- My 23 year old brother also listens to MMMbop by Hanson periodically and eats s'mores for breakfast. yessssss.

- THE WEASEL GETS HER BRACES OFF TOMORROW!!!

Happy Birthday, Pops

Love this man. 

loved him enough to paint his five year old face. amateurishly.

love that loves my friends like they're his own

love his stories

love that he puts up with me

love that he's the best grandpa ever

love that he is so much like his father

love that he let me name the dog

 Love that he loves my mother enough to make it a forever marriage

Happy Birthday, pops. 

56 and still young

Camo & Soap

On Monday we had FHE and we threw a birthday party for our friend Kyle. The highlight of the night was 'pin the camo on the kyle'. I drew a big cartoon picture of Kyle wearing camo and then made a bunch of hats and everyone decorate their version of kyle's camo cat and you get the picture. it was a ton of fun! I laughed for almost an hour straight! which i'm sure was really annoying to everyone else, but i loved it!

kyle the 1st, Doug, and Kyle the 2nd 

modeling their creations

 playing the actual game was fun too, but way easier than i imagined.

we played some other quick fun games before the guys left. they're the best.

 we sang to Kyle and gave him an ice cream sandwich with a piece of cardboard stuck in it as his birthday cake and candle. woo! poor college students, holla!

and for kicks, here's a picture of me and Mallorie that she made me take off facebook:

real cute. 

next.

I went on a group date last night with a boy named Doug. I liked it a lot. except 2 things:

1) a Canadian

2) a fence

1) while we were carving each other's faces out of soap bars, an old Canadian man came up to the table wondering what we were doing. We told him and talked to him for a few minutes, he was actually really nice and his story was pretty cool. But then he told me, "you know young lady, you're dating a good, well to do young man". My face took on it's brightest shade of red possible, and my feet became incredibly compelling. i glanced up at my supposed boyfriend, who was smirking, and decided that he wasn't appalled. So I sheepishly replied that this was only a first date and we weren't dating dating, and the man asked if we were planning on going on further dates and making it romantic. 

i was wondering the same thing myself, haha.

but i would never DREAM of saying it out loud! on a first date? are you crazy Mr.Canada? there were several awkward glances and chuckles going across the table. finally our friend Chad ...

*a brief round of applause for Chad before we continue the story*

we literally JUST met him on Sunday. he's the roommate of one our friends, nik. and Chad came into our house to escape the cold while waiting for the girls next door to come home from church. so we talked for like 7 minutes, gave him a brownie, and told him we were going to become best friends. he was visibly overwhelmed by our friendship. oh well. 

Then, Jaylene's date (Nik) fell through, and we didn't know who else to ask.

"CHAD!" i randomly yelled. why not? He's handsome, and from out brief conversation a few days ago, he seems nice. Jay agreed, so Mal and I ran over to his house to find him. 

oddly enough, he was walking over to our complex (with his Ukrainian roommate, Larry, who is hilarious.) already, so we ambushed him. literally. we yelled his name, he looked confused, but we went on talking. we asked him to go on a date with our roommate the next night, and he happily agreed. what a trooper. let's remind everyone that he didn't even know our names, and we had one 7 minute conversation prior to this. 

Go Chad.

*done*

...laughs and says, "well, this is definitely friendship for me, i just met these girls." which let the rest of us burst with pent up awkward laughs. the tension was gone and after a few more minutes, the Canadian man left us and we finished our date. 

Doug's soap carving of me:

my very unfinished carving of Doug. He thought it was creepy. i agree. haha

2) After we carved soap and did a few other things on campus, we went geocaching! ever heard of it? it's way fun, i was way into it like the summer before my sophomore year of high school. 

we looked up several different caches and decided on one about a mile away because it held things to disguise a person, which intrigued us. we walked and talked, and finally we got to about 100 feet from the cache when...a fence. and may i add, an entirely unnecessary fence. it separated a church parking lot from an empty field, and the fence was like 8 feet high, half a mile long, no gates.

 i was angry, because we had just walked a mile, (i hate walking in the cold) and the little anticipation and excitement that had built was deflated out of all of us. i really didn't want the boys to get bored. but chad came to the rescue again, and offered to climb the fence, find the cache and bring it back. seriously, what a champ! so he did, and we had fun going through the items and taking goofy pictures that didn't even really turn out because it was so dark. turned out fine.

besides the man and the fence, i had fun and we made a new friend in Chad! and we became better friends with a boy named Doug. and Mallorie's Kyle, too. (Mallorie's date was so successful that they're going ou again tonight! you go, gurl!)

My camera was being weird and my arm wasn't long enough to fit everyone in the picture, so Doug took over for me!

p.s. my hand is in a tiny black glove, so that's the bit of skin you see by my shoulder. ha.

the walk back to our apartment was the best part, because no body was uncomfortable anymore. and i enjoy it when boys' cheeks are rosy from the cold, it's real cute. 

ALSO. loving Broadway musicals? 5 points up on the attractive scale.

loving my newest favorite musical, which happens to be really obscure? a BILLION points up.

knowing my father, and respecting the heck out of him,

loving Banksy (maybe more than i do), knowing tons about art and theatre and my hometown, loving his sisters, having a dad with the same job as my dad, liking math, having read Harry Potter, blushing over his middle name, and loving Nauvoo? those things were all big pluses as well.

so basically, a boy named Doug has officially gained my favor.

don't worry mom, we're just friends.