If i could have a Gerald N Lund kind of romance, that'd be greeeeeat.

first of all, my happy for today:

The Work and the Glory series. i just finished the fourth book (i started it literally in September, but then went away to school. then, i came home at Christmas and continued but then the kindest, nicest character was brutally murdered and i HATED THE WORLD BECAUSE OF IT. so i stopped reading it. until Monday. and i finished it this morning. and uglyface happy tears were had. how does Gerald write such PERFECTLY FLAWED COUPLES OVER AND OVER AGAIN?! seriously. Ben and Mary = perfect. Nathan and Lydia = perfect, Joshua and Jessica = tragic then happy, Joshua and Caroline = perfect, Melissa and Carl = wonderful then bitter then sweet, Derek and Rebecca = PERFECT, MATTHEW AND JENNY = PERFECT AND WONDERFUL and all that is good in the world is in them. okay, i'm done, i promise.)

and hi, my name is melissa hansen and i've never had an actual valentine. which is normal cause i'm a baby.

anyway, if around this time of year i had any kind of a boy who i thought maybe liked me, 

i'd probably give him this:

also, if my old lady brain could tell my pubescent heart to shut up, that'd be great. 

and if BYU-Idaho could NOT make me move every 3 1/2 months, i'd be okay with that. 

literally the ONLY thing i don't like about my school is the track system. reason #231? relationships are real hard to get rollin when I'm CONSTANTLY moving. and away. and gone. and leaving. or going. or whatever. 

i have a crush on you, you person, you. 

but TRUUUUST me my old lady brain is trying everything it can to convince my teenage twitterpated self that this is not a good idea. 

i kind of feel like i'm reading "The Monster at the End of this Book". to myself. and i'm begging me not to turn the pages BUT I KEEP TURNING THEM.

LISTEN TO ME SELF, 

LISTEN GOOD

this is not a bad idea

but it's not a good one. 

and this boy is good

but this timing is bad.

and you're just getting ahead of yourself....again.

SO STOP.

*ignores self*

I can HEAR my mother rolling her eyes some time in the next 24 hours when she reads this post. 

i can literally hear her eyes rolling in my mind's ear. 

ha. 

and i can hear myself shouting from down the hall, "LOVE ME, MOM. HE'S DREAMY AND KIND."