Certain Seconds: Brandon

Today is the birthday of 3 really great people in my life. 

one of them is my dear old Brandon.

I've been thinking about him all day. 

I'm so grateful for that boy, and who he's become.

I'm proud of him. 

He's a good man. 

i kept remembering all these certain seconds of him from the last few months of high school, seconds that i don't want to forget, but for whatever reason haven't written down. 

these are them.

one day while i was waiting for rehearsal, Brandon was leaving after baseball practice. he put a hunk of a tree into my passenger seat and pretended to be hit by me, rolling onto my windshield as i laughed. I kept that hunk of tree. it's sitting on my bookshelf at home next to a picture of he, Jason, stephen, and travis. 

when i started dating a boy my our senior year, you came to my house one night and we sat in my living room eating famous amos as you warned me about getting too serious with boys who didn't see me for me. I was stubborn and embarrassed and refuse to acknowledge that i was doing something stupid. you looked at me with a face so grave it frightened me and said, "Melissa Michiale do not do let that boy ever take advantage of you. or talk you into doing anything that you don't want to do. Do not let him make you feel like anything less than you are. you are incredible. you are out of his league. you are way too good for him. i like him as a person, but he's made me do tings i was uncomfortable with, and i do not like the idea of you two together. neither do Jason or Stephen. and if you're gonna date him, then fine, but you should know that none of the three boys who care about you as much as your real three brothers approve of that choice." I felt like a total idiot, so i changed the subject. and you let me. you'd said what you needed to say. But every time you saw us together, i felt you tense up. And when the 3 of you took me out for dinner on my 18th birthday and that boy was brought up, you literally rolled your eyes. ha. and under your breath so the other two didn't hear you asked, "Is he...treating you...well?" I nodded. It was a lie, but i didn't want to ruin the night. 

Brandon and i both had dream schools. BYU for me, Cal Poly for him. When i didn't get into BYU, i was insanely embarrassed and i felt like i wasn't smart or whatever. so i didn't make a big deal about it. I remember one morning walking out of our Expository Reading and Writing class heading toward our 2nd period classes across campus, and Brandon told me that he didn't get into Cal Poly. I was devastated for him, because i knew how much i hated that i didn't get into BYU. there was a moment of quiet, just our feet walking. then he asked, "wait, when do you hear back from BYU?" and i said, "oh. no, i didn't get in. i just...didn't really...i don't know, i'm embarrassed." "What?!" he practically shouted, and stopped walking. i looked back at him as he continued, "why didn't you tell me?! Melissa, that was your dream school! I'm sorry!" I shrugged and blinked, trying really hard not to cry. then we hugged for a minute. both sad for ourselves but genuinely and equally sad for each other. But then i was grateful. grateful for this boy who cared about me so much that he forgot about not getting into HIS dream school and hugged me because i didn't get into mine. we finished walking to class together in silence, but with content smiles. it was just a chilly morning in late February, but my heart was pretty warm that day. 

Driving home from the Miss MSHS pageant, Brandon blasted music and we talked about how he can't remember lyrics, just beats, and that's why he never tried out for the musicals, because he couldn't remember the songs. and it was hot because it was may, so the windows were down. It was my mom's birthday. I had a crown on my head and Brandon was making me blush because he kept complimenting me and talking about the pageant. I was so grateful for him right then. I remember thinking, "He has been my best friend for literally as long as i can remember. this is rare. this friendship is rare." as he mumbled incorrect lyrics to a Rascal Flatts song. Then he called his mom to tell her that i'd won the pageant, and she was gushing on speakerphone, and Brandon handed me the phone because she wanted to talk to me. She apologized for not being available that night to watch and i just felt so loved. we talked a little bit and she had me describe what i'd done for the pageant. i told her, and we chatted and chuckled for a minute before we hung up with heartfelt goodbyes and i smiled the whole way home, fully aware of the incredible friends God had blessed me with.

Before prom, we all met at Brandon's house. down the street from me. right before we went outside to take pictures, i wanted to check my hair, so i stepped into Brandon's room to look in his mirror. Jason, Stephen, Travis, and Brandon were all in there. we just smiled at each other, complimenting one another's outfits and hair and laughing at how cliche this all was.
at the end of the night, before we all walked downstairs back to the limo, I took a picture of Jason, Stephen, and Brandon, and then they huddled around me to look at the picture on the camera. after they'd seen it, Brandon slipped his arm around me. I slipped mine around he and stephen, who was on my other side. and then all four of us hugged. we stuck our heads together and sighed at our shoes. "this is it, guys." Jason said. "No way," Brandon said, "this is never ending." Stephen laughed his excited laugh, and i just smiled and squeezed them all extra tight before we all walked back to our dates.

on graduation night, Jason, Brandon, Stephen, and i were all in different rooms waiting to walk out to the stadium, but we were texting each other smiley faces and saying congratulations and sharing our antsy opinions.
as each of our names were called throughout the ceremony, i cheered with my whole soul, and as soon as it had ended, i turned around and craned my head this way and that. my first thought being, "Where's Brandon?". I walked toward the stands toward my family but hadn't even left the field when i heard Brandon call my name somewhere behind me. I turned around and there he was pushing through the swarm. we ran to each other and he lifted me up and spun me for a good thirty seconds while we laughed and hugged and i tried not to cry. 

"I love you, Melissa Michiale." 

"I love you, Brandon Allen."

he set me down. my mom got a picture of me adjusting my cap post-twirl, and we walked to find Jason and Stephen and our families after Brandon stole my fanny pack and put it on himself.

I followed Brandon in my car to Sober Grad because i didn't know how to get there. I awkwardly changed in the car on the way there because i didn't know if i'd be able to once we got there, and i wanted to be in a T-shirt. ha. when we were getting out of our cars, Brandon saw that i had changed and teased me about being modest. he walked up to me with a wrapped gift in his hand. I looked at him, surprised. he blushed, "My mom put it together, but i like it." I opened it to find a large framed collage of pictures of us from when we were little to just recently at Prom, and i cried. "I love it, Brandon!" i said, and i practically bowled him over with a hug. i put everything in my trunk and walked into Sober Grad together. 

At the end of the summer i had the boys over for one last dinner. Jason was off to Arkansas, Stephen to Irvine, Brandon to Chico, and me to Idaho. after dinner and ice cream and laughs and photos and a big tearful group hug at the end of my drive way, Stephen drove away with his half of our Harry Potter pillowcase set. Jason drove away and i held his hand through the window for a second as he drove off. I sighed and buried my head into Brandon's shoulder as we said goodbye. we joked about me being engaged the next time we'd see each other. and then we said goodbye. and ended our childhood together. 

since then (other than our Christmas Adam Disneyland trip 2012) we've only seen each other for a hour or two at a time when we're both on break and free. it's getting harder and harder to see each other. I know there will come a day when we don't see each other for years at a time, but i'm not really ready to admit that yet. although i feel it coming closer. 

I saw him this past summer for a few hours, but this time was special, because he'd brought home his girlfriend. It was honestly like a movie. He loves her. and i loved seeing him in love with her. he watched her with such tender eyes, and the tie between them was precious. She cherishes him, and he respects her. and i like her a lot. She is loving him for all the right reasons, and is helping him stay strong in his beliefs. For that, i will love her. For see Brandon's potential, and supporting him in all his efforts to be good. You go, Kathy Ray. 

seeing him in love was surreal. 

but it made me happy to see him happy. 

in the third grade we did biography reports, and you were Andrew Jackson. you wore a little triangular revolutionary-esque hat and told us his history as if it was your own, and i remember nothing other than when you said, "I fell in love with a girl named Rachel." because you got deep pink in your cheeks and kind of giggled in a shy eight year old boy way.
after school one day we walked home, talking about the G.A.T.E. test that we'd taken that day. i confided in him that i was glad it wasn't math, because i wasn't good at math. He said i could be good at anything. 

i loved walking to band with you and Jason and Stephen, laughing like escaping class was the best thing ever, and i loved walking home with you. You carrying your Sax and me carrying my trumpet in big bulky black cases that we'd occasionally, irresponsibly, kick along the sidewalk because they were so heavy. 

My 9th birthday party was a murder mystery, and your character was a golfer, and you lost one of your dad's real golf medals in my front lawn and we spent forever trying to find it. i felt so bad that i cried, and instead of worrying about your dad's medal, you comforted me and told me not to cry on my birthday. you sat with me on the couch for a bit until i was cheered up. you were so good. you are so good. 

I was annoyed with you for choosing china for our sixth grade country reports because i chose Japan first, and i thought you were trying to copy me. 

whenever i hear mention of "Key to the Treasure" i smile because i think of our reading group, getting to do special book reports and cool projects because we always finished early. 

My dear Brandon, Happy Birthday. 

you will always be the little boy in khaki shorts and a plaid shirt with skinned up knees. 

My Best friend from down the street. 

I love you, brother.

Melissa Michiale