Two summers ago I was given a pair of Dr.Dre Beiber Beats by one of my best friends. I love them like the flowers love the sun.
On Saturday night they were STOLEN FROM RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE.
Saturday night one of my Friends got his mission Call. So we had all our friends - and a few other boys from Chapman Hall who know Grant - (the thieves) over to watch the joyous event.
When our FHE boys got to our apartment, my things were moved to the floor to make more room on the couch. Which i can understand. people need to sit. but you might have the thought to put expensive headphones on the bookcase or the tv or kitchen table or something. Or ask, 'hey, are these someone's headphones on the floor? they look nice and i would hate for them to be stepped on or stolen by strangers.'
but that's not what happened.
after everyone left and i needed headphones to listen to something for homework, i scoured the entire house looking for them, only to be left empty handed. i checked EVERYWHERE i could think of. but i KNEW that i had used them right before the boys came over and that they should have been right there next to my laptop and charger.
they weren't lost, they were stolen.
but noooo, melissa is crazy, melissa is cynical, melissa wants to believe that the whole world is out to get her.
no one listened to me. Everyone stood up for the strangers, "why would they do that? you probably just lost them!"
well guess what, i have PHOTO PROOF that my headphones were THERE when the strangers came, and GONE after they left. THIEVES i tell you! thieves!
Here is a picture that Meredith took on her iphone when our FHE boys and sam arrived. you can see my purple headphones at Jake's feet.
Here is a picture taken about seven minutes later, once the strangers arrived and grant was setting up skype with his family.
You can still see them. It's hard to tell, but I can see the silver part on the headphones where you can turn the volume up and down (and if i had a compatible phone i could use that piece as the little thing you speak into when you're on the phone. but i only have one apple product and it's an ipod from 2008. anyway.)
they are there.
and then the horror.
this picture was taken about five minutes later, after Grant had ended skype and right after the strangers left.
WHERE ARE THEY?!!!!
When I noticed that the headphones were gone, I freaked out. because i usually don't leave them just lying around. but my roommates assured me that i probably just misplaced them, and that i would find them eventually once i clean up.
well Wednesday was a cleaning check.
You know, where you have to clean THE ENTIRE APARTMENT.
and guess what didn't show up?!
guess who's not crazy after all?
I would never accuse my FHE brothers or sam of this atrocity.
It had to be one of the strangers.
well guess what strangers?! You're pretty stupid if you stole them! because You told me all your names! (except for creepy moises who refused to give me his name, too bad i asked someone the next day at church.) I'm a professional creeper, but these guys just made it too easy. YOU'RE ALL IN MY WARD! I know where you all live, ya toss pots! right next door to my FHE boys!
You are so dumb! you are really dumb!
fo' real.
YOU DONT HAVE TO COME AN CONFESS.
WE LOOKIN FO YOU
WE GONE FINE YOU
SO RUN AN TELL THAT,
HOMEBOY(s).
i feel really bad that someone stole your headphones!! i thought BYU-I was suppose to be more celestial than BYU-P. Lame, lame. Thanks for dramatizing your life and putting in ghetto quotes for the rest of us to laugh at. I hope you get em
ReplyDeletego visit their apts. and find them!!!! and keep your stuff under lock and key literally in your desk or something. yikes.
ReplyDeleteif you go with goodies and say it is a thank you to who ever will bring them back to the office no questions asked, it might work. because if you ask in front of everyone they other guys will have seen him with purple headphones and know that they are yours, peer pressure might work.