Last September 2nd

I shouldn't be up this late.
...


I am a completely different person now than i was last September. same in a lot of ways. but oh, so different. i feel better. i feel kind of like an adult. ish. in no way do i see myself as a grown up, but i was still VERY much a child last September. I also know what i want, which is huge.  still i have no idea how to get to that point or what will be in between but i do know what i want to be "when i grow up". I like that. I also feel like I've become accountable for my soul. that sounds weird. I just mean that i feel like in high school i felt invincible and like i could justify my stupid actions. But now i have seen and done and felt things that i never had before. experience in a way. and i just feel like now i know how big a deal it is for me to keep my soul...true, and i fell the weight of my decisions in a much more responsible way. if that even makes sense.
this is becoming tangent-y.

my POINT IS:

Since last september, i feel like i've grown up a lot and i'm proud of who i've been in the last year. My dad told me the day before i left for college that my freshman year would be full of epiphanies in every area of my life and oh, how that has been true!
And tonight I just feel really grateful for the past year, because i feel like it has shown my truest colors and grounded me. it was like prep work. knocking down walls, building new ones, readying myself for the future. i don't know all that it entails but i feel good about it.
"everything's gonna be okay" does not mean that everything will stay the same, but i kind of like that.

I kind of like this person i'm becoming. I like these odds.

here's a selfie from that time i forced Jenae to go to a Young Single Adult dance last weekend and we were the ONLY people dressed up. aaaand we were dressed in the wrong decade. hahaha. whateva, i got to wear Jenae's dress (I FIT INTO Jenae's dress! what?! haha) so i don't care.