"The End, dawg."

real quick explanation:

the whole last month (well, thirty days) of high school I took pictures of EVERYthing that i did. everywhere i went and everyone that i went there with. over a thousand photos! most of them i deleted because realistically, when you take ten pictures in one minute, they all come out looking almost identical. so i ended up with about 400 pictures, most of which i posted on facebook.

some i just kept for myself.

anyway, graduation was the last day of my "official" documenting experience.

(but now i'm just addicted to taking a million pictures all day long so now you all get to put up with my annoying camera. teehehe. i like that!)

anyway..

welp guys. Here it is. The graduation post. 

I've been trying for weeks to write some awesome post full of emotion and inspiration.

Like the graduation speech i never gave, you know?

But.

Nothing is coming to mind. 

nothing that could convey the love i have for my school and my teachers and my friends.

nothing that could really say how i felt.

except for 'thank you'.

thank you Brandon for being the only boy who spins me and means it. and for finding me RIGHT after the ceremony ended to twirl me around laughing for a good 30 seconds. and for so many other things that would take too long to write...

and thank you a million times to these boys.

sigh. My brothers.

I can't even...GAH. I can't say how much i love them. But you already know that.

Thanks dad for awkwardly taking my friends firmly by the shoulder and warning them to stay sober in college. ha.

Thank you to all these under class men boys who make my life happy everyday:

Ozzy, my Vlad Valadikoff clover thief from Seussical.

 David, my mic specialist and fellow mafia member.

Tay Tay Cali swag t daddy bees el taylor be beakes in! My spanish tragdor silly videos la puesta del sol warriors for vida pal with all the best snacks and funniest laughs. 

Eric, my beau! you're just plain sunshine. really. you always make me smile, and you make me laugh and i was so proud of you when I handed you your "Rising Star" award, I almost dang cried for you, sweet Eric. raw talent, bro. you got it! use it! oh yeah, and thanks for being my dang husband.

el trey bees! thanks for being there. honestly. for all the times I've cried to you. literally and jokingly. you never judged me, or asked for reasons. You just hugged me and sugar coated all the bitterness for me. you see the good in people. you're a dang pineapple. spiky, tough and sarcastic on the outside, sweet and mushy on the inside. and thank you for always texting me back, even though i absolutely NEVER text you back. hahahahahahahahahahaha, you're awesome blob.

Thank you Travis, for giving me tall person hugs and blindly taking my advice even when it wasn't the best.

Thank you for Jay for making me laugh and distracting me from scary big decisions that inevitably come after high school. And for being letting me be completely open with you all the time. I needed that.

Ernesto dang lopez thank you for just being you!

Mona.

 sheesh. why haven't you gotten your own post yet?

there are too many things to thank you for. and most of them are too personal to put on my blog. ha.

basically, thanks for being my rock. for ALWAYS being there no matter what and for knowing when i was hurting when no one else could tell. you've always been my shoulder to cry on. quite literally. and i love that with one look you know that we need to talk. you're in the dang middle east right now and i'm missing you! I borrowed Sweet Home Alabama from Brandon while i was at his house this afternoon and after i'm done with this post, i'll definitely be puttin that baby in. and eating cookie dough and crying and laughing. ha.

Thank you Stephen for gosh, everything. for constantly smiling and telling me i'm too good for this town. you are too. really, though. Thank you for giving me truth even when i don't want it and for answering all my awkward questions. AAAAAnd for telling me that my blinker light is out. :)

Oh hey Jace face.

Jason dang Ibrahim. I love you. and there is way too much to thank you for. mainly? thank you for never giving up on me. and never making me wonder how you felt about me. you're uhmm the best. 

Class of 2012?

thanks. 

for being there every step of the way. 

and for loving your school and flash mobbing during graduation.

I laugh at our ghetto-ness.

I love our success and i hate that it's over.

but hey. it's been a good ride.

Thank you to everyone else. i couldn't take a picture with every person i know. trust me, if i could i would. 

really.

thank you for all the memories. 

I've heard that high school is four years that you think about for the rest of your life.

I wish i could say that i wouldn't change a thing about high school. but that would be a lie. a big one. and since i'm in the middle of my dang honesty/ no regrets  quest thing thang, i won't smudge the truth. 

If i could go back and do it all again, I'd tell a boy that he was no good for me and save us both a lot of trouble because we were way too young to be that bitter. I'd have spent even more time annoyingly clinging to Derek and Landon. I'd try as hard as i could to stay friends with a wonderful girl whose feelings i hurt. I'd be a better friend in general. I would never have quit water polo. I would have listened to Brandon and Jason when they said I was wasting my time. I would have given 2378% more of myself in Seussical. I would have loved deeper and been kinder and forgiven people who made mistakes as dumb freshmen but have changed into good people since then. or maybe I've done the changing, and they were good along...

I wouldn't have taken so many people for granted. I would have paid way more attention and spent a lot less time worrying and a lot more time laughing. I would have said thank you a lot more. I would never have insulted Mr.Hardcastle. I would have gone to twice as many school games. if that's possible. I would have painted Mrs.Watterson's Door purple as a senior prank. 

I'll always remember the triumphant war cry after the rivalry game when i felt like my whole body was going to burst with pride and i couldn't even hear myself screaming my lungs out because the stadium was shaking with the sound of all us united, shouting for joy and throwing our fists in the air. finally. FINALLY. finally.

I'll never forget the cold air on homecoming, or the sweaty smelly gym during basketball games. The jittery feeling on the first day of school. The countless times i was left gasping for air from laughing so hard in the ROP drama room. or My nervous heart pounding in the wings before curtain went up on opening night. South winning everything this year. getting to be Ms. Madera South. painting myself purple way too often. all the games, all the tears and smiles and all times i looked around and was so proud to be a stallion.

It was worth it. 

It was all worth it.

and?

I Love you.

all of you. every last stinkin' one.

Thank you for everything...

One more thing?

For all you fanny pack haters out there?

(Oscar Bolanos...)

 you know you're gonna miss seeing me bounce around school. with that gigantic monstrosity strapped to my waist. with my crocs stomping or my socks and sandals flopping with each step. and my keys jingling around my neck. with my one long french braid swinging back and forth and my purple t shirt shouting out my school pride to anyone who cared to look.

even though you hate it,

you'll miss it. 

And I'll miss you, Madera South.

for dang sure, I'll miss you.