Lessons from Sports Camp

i am in no way ready to be the mom of teenagers. ha.

14 year olds are a WHOLE. LOT. OLDER.  than 12 year olds.

Heavenly Father loves me.
for me.
completely, totally, exactly-the-way-i-am, me.
and he's blessed me over the past few weeks with souls who have automatically accepted me and supported me, even encouraged me to be me. They don't care about my flaws. they don't care about my mistakes. they seem them, but they love them.
they. love. me.

14 year olds are definitely teenagers, and they don't really think of anyone but themselves. that's okay. they're 14. i need to breathe and remember that.

i can't expect my girls this week to be just like my girls from last week. that's not fair. i can't discipline them the same or anything like that. they are different people! they have different needs. i should treat them accordingly.

I think God put me in Provo this summer just so i can feel  appreciated and useful. I'm thankful that He could see that i needed that even though I didn't know i needed that.

how did my mother raise teenagers before cell phones? saint, that woman.

I COULD NEVER DO WHAT DEREK AND RACHEL DO.
seriously.
really and truly, my respect for them today went through the roof. i can barely keep calm while my group of girls is split into 2 locations for practice, and they are in charge of HUNDREDS of campers, and counselors, and activities, and they do it all with a calm voice and a friendly smile. and they pretend to care about all of our trivial conversations in between. and i love them for it.

Thank goodness for friends who can calm you down in one sentence. completely suck all the stress right out of you and leave calm in its place.

I'm really grateful that Heavenly Father knows me individually. because i'm different than you. i need different things, i want different things. i feel and think differently, you get the picture. and if Heavenly Father treated us all the same, i think i'd still be safe, but i wouldn't be at peace. I might be alright but i wouldn't be satisfied. i'm so happy that He knows exactly what i need and how to help me understand it.

sometimes, my girls are not all going to be in the same place. that's hard for me, because i am a total control freak and perfectionist, but it is, in fact, okay. IT'S OKAY, MELISSA.

Even if i want to wring a girl's neck in one moment because she's disobeying me, she didn't come to camp to get yelled at. i can help her understand the rules without being angry.

If it's still inside the rules, i can accommodate. i can do that. that's okay. i should do that. i should do everything i can to make my girls safe while still having fun.

I have whispered more heartfelt 'thank-you-prayers' in the past 15 days than i can ever remember.
blessings on blessings on blessings.
and not necessarily big blessings, no landslides or thunder.
just small, constant reminders that God is in the details of my life.
and that He has not forgotten me.
and that I'm in the middle of a big plan.

you guys, i love this job so much. 

I said it last post, i said it tonight to my girls, and i'll say it again right now:

I have never been more satisfied with a decision in my entire life. 

ever.

I am supposed to be here right now. 

and i love it.