The Invisible Roommate

that's me. 

but sometimes i refer to my other roommates as that, too. 

we're all invisible here at Cinnamon Tree. 

there are 5 of us. 

I'm gone all the weekdays

My Guatemalan roommate and my roommate Kaisha are gone all weekend with their boys. my Ukrainian roommate is super popular and out a lot. when she's not out, she's studying in her room. 

the constant is my actual roomie, Leah. 

she's a sweetheart. 

Most of my camps have ended on Fridays. some on Thursdays. Whatever day i come home, i go get food at the grocery store, take a shower, and waste the night away online or something. 

then the next day i hide myself away in my room and do homework for hours and hours and hours. not exaggerating. 

the first weekend after i'd had a camp, my Ukranian roommate brought home two hot pizzas at midnight while i was writing in my journal in the living room because Leah was already asleep in our room. 

"Melissa, Do you want a pizza??"

"uhmm, really??"

"yes! I work there, these were leftover. this happens a lot. ... they're hot!"

uhmmm.

okay. 

i'm fine with this habit. 

a brief consumer's review:

Dove Go Fresh Deodorant 

THE BEST DEODORANT I'VE EVER USED.

k thanks, bye.

I ran out of this one, so i bought the same kind but pomegranate scent.

A GOOD DECISION IF THERE EVER WAS ONE

this is a common Friday night sight. mine is a half unpacked life:

 Saturday, July 11, i was doing homework and took my lunch break. out my window, in the quad, i saw a bunch of guys playing CRICKET. no big deal. 

actually i was really intrigued, so i went outside and watched on the balcony while i finished my lettuce wraps.

my friends Phillipa and Shanna brought me a slurpee. because they were free and they love me. 

once i was done with my homework, we went to a bonfire that my counselor friend Kristin put together! hashtag counselor clusters for life. 

we're all babes if i do say so myself. 

that bonfire was SO MUCH FUN. we didn't really do anything but talk to Dylan and Mitchell, but i just loved it because i had FRIENDS, finally. 

not finally. they had been my fast friends, but this was really the first time we'd spent a time together outside of camp. and i loved it. and i love them. and i wish Rachel could have come.

I joked to some counselors that being on a BYU-Idaho track system is rough because i move every four months or so. "hard to get a job, hard to get a boyfriend, hard to get regular friends."

truth truth truth. 

I mean obviously, Mallorie and Jaylene are always there when i'm in Idaho.

and my family and several members of the Valentine ward are there when i'm home. 

but it's hard to feel like i'm constantly pushing into social circles, or trying to pry my way back into friendships when i pop back into town. It can be lonely, even when i have friends, sometimes i don't feel like i really fit. like my heart is in both places, Rexburg and Madera. 

but i don't feel that here. 

and the bonfire was the first night that i let myself admit it. 

I said goodbye to the rest of the counselors/ people and walked out to the car with Shanna, playfully swinging hands like schoolgirls as we crossed the giant lawn between our fire and the parking lot. we whispered and giggled about boys, and i tried really really really hard not to think about the fact that i was half way done in Provo. So i snapped this picture of the super-moon. said, "...me and the moon" under my breath to distract myself from reality for a second. 

Saturday evening Phillipa and i walked to the dollar theater to see Divergent because i liked the book series and have been interested to see the movie. 

in case you were wondering, i thought the book to movie adaption was exceptional. 

though i think the actress who played Tris was way prettier than i pictured her while reading the books. 

oh well. 

Derek called me during the movie asking if i wanted to go to DI, and when i explained where i was, he was surprised and joked about me stealing his friends - semi true, full funny.

golly, do i love these mountains at dusk.

 Shanna picked us up from the theater and these two patiently waited outside with Derek while i finished my last homework assignment before we grabbed some Chick-fil-a and  a movie at Dylan and Mitchell's.

these two. 

and my ward is awesome. 

flip, i just remembered that i'm giving a talk in sacrament meeting on Sunday. 

cool. 

i'll add that to my finals, also due this weekend. 

well that seems like a good place to end tonight. 

also? this:

good night, folks.