Chef Brandon

 Brandon's back from Cancun.

which means he gets to be featured on the blog again so i can remind him yet again how much i'll miss him.

again.

A few weeks months ago, Brandon had planned a "pinterest day". they would find tasty dinner and dessert recipes and make both. just for funnsies. they invited me to come along for entertainment. because i can't cook, but i can tell funny stories. but the pinterest day kept getting postponed for various reasons.

until a couple weeks ago late at night after our octopus party, it was back on! Oscar joined us. we went shopping. Brandon had to give me a piggy back ride until we got a cart because i forgot that i was barefoot. and then we were loud and obnoxious and i was singing show tunes.

when am i not singing show tunes?...

I slipped chocolate milk, go gurt, lays sour cream and onion chips, Time Magazine's special on queen Elizabeth, a 'Brave' coloring book, a giant pack of string cheese, two apple home run pies, minty gum and a sock monkey into the cart while we danced down every aisle looking for things we may remotely need for the recipes.

Oscar removed my pies claiming that, "apple pies are not for mormons." and the Brave coloring book, insisting that my Time magazine of  blue bloods would keep me busy enough. which turned out true.

still, i'm a sneaky snake.

 After literally YEARS of wishing on every birthday candle, I have a sock monkey, guys. He's beautiful! He's not a real one...just a mini TY beanie baby one...but that's okay. Someday i'll get the real deal.

some happy day...

Hey Brandon, let's get married. not only would we have the coolest kids ever, but you read minds so you'd always know what i was thinking and we'd never fight...you can do the cooking and i'll do uhmm, well i'll...I'll paint the nursery to look like the jungle of Nool ad the bathroom to look like McElligot's pool!!

that sounds like a fair trade.

but really, this guy has insane skills. come on, how many teenage boys know how to get/harvest lemon zest? I didn't even know what that was, or that it actually affected food.

HOURS later, the food was done.

It was worth the wait, though. we had like this, chicken pasta spicy goodness. Cajun i think they called it. i don't know anything about food. i eat pizza, not this fancy stuff.

and i'm usually not into spices. but at least it was better than the calamari.

I slaved over these dang fake s'mores. (okay so i cut up marshmallows and melted a bunch of chocolate..)

and they were dang good! Maybe one day i'll be all foodie and post the recipe....no. no i won't. taha.

after midnight, i gasped at my watch and Brandon drove me home. down the street.

and he brought me the leftovers the next day. And while he was over, a sneaky little frog hopped right in through the open front door. so He and I tried to chase it out, while screaming and swatting a broom everywhere. and the frog peed. and He and I were laughing too hard to actually do anything. finally Jonathan came over and solved the problem. i think he was just tired of hearing me yell. and I told Brandon to bring me desserts everyday and that he was a frog killer before he left. He hasn't driven over any more desserts, though. oh well, I love him anyway.

p.s. I'm watching the Olympic Men's water polo team right now. I miss water polo SO much. but then again, i'm watching them murdering each other and thinking....maybe I just miss being in shape and tan... no yeah. that's it.

Slow Songs

Good morning y'all.

who watched the opening ceremonies last night? They were wild! I bet my director, Mrs.Latimer, loved it. It was a little weird for my taste. the end part where the one ring to rule them all rose to the sky and linked with the others was cool, and oh yeah, the 100 ft tall Lord Voldemort was definitely the highlight.

We missed the rest of the ceremony because we went to a church dance.

which was AWESOME by the way.

not enough people come to dances.

do you want to hear a rant about dancing?

okay good cause i'm about to give you one.

Reasons why you need to play twice as many slow songs:

1) the more there are, the less awkward they become. the first slow song of the night usually means hat like, ten couples will awkwardly swaying from side to side. but with each slow song, more and more people gather up the courage to ask someone to be their partner. and when they rationalize: 'okay, next slow song. next slow song, i got this! I'll ask her next slow song'...it actually gives them a chance to ask.

2) it gives a nice break in between fast songs. if the whole dance is crazy dubsteb music,  then everyone is sweaty and tired by ten o clock. having a slow down every couple songs gives everyone a chance to cool down, breathe and spread out over the whole dance floor instead of moshing in the middle for four hours. 

3) you meet new people! this sounds cliche.  but i'm not just talking about meeting your future spouse. calm down, melissa. It's great to meet a lot of different friends. when you ask some one to dance, you have roughly two and a half minutes of their hopefully undivided attention to make a good impression, get to know all the basics of the person and maybe even impress her with a twirl during a lull in conversation. and the more slow songs you have, the more people you meet. it increases your people skills, guys! 

no matter how awkward they may be at first, slow songs are good, guys.

church dances are good, guys.

Octopus Party

One day, while sitting in Relief Society (a Sunday school class ) with my friend Emily, we were trying to think up some really random activities or ideas for fun party games. 

"An octopus party!" she whispered excitedly

I gasped in agreement, "we could have slippery, sunctiony, watery, purply, octopi games!"

"everyone could wear eight legs!"

"we could eat gold fish!"

our conversation was cut short when the lesson started, but i planned out an octopus party on the back of the program. emily left to school before i could have an octopus party with her, but i still really wanted to have one! So i invited a few friends over for fun.

the decorations looked a LOT cooler in person! i for got to take pictures while i was setting up, and by this point in the day, half of the streamers that were water had floated the the ground. and half of the seaweed wall had fallen down too. I promise it looked oceany in real life, guys!

we blew up ivory soap in the microwave to make "sea coral" and we tried dying them with food coloring but that wasn't effective, and the soap didn't expand nearly as much as i thought it would, so we gave up on making a coral wall because there wasn't enough...

We had lots of fun snacks! but no meal...because i forgot to plan one...

I tried to plan this game where you shove balloons into pantyhose to make octopus tentacles...but I blew up the balloons too big and the panty hose were only knee highs so they only fit like one balloon. and then Dominic and Oscar just ended up putting them on their heads...

 We tried making octopus slime! but it wasn't nearly as fun to watch as i thought it would be. It actually really grossed out Jessica. and the whole thing was messy and it got EVERYwhere and on everything. it washes of skin just fine but uhmm not off clothes. or seashells. or tablecloths... and the recipe i copied off pinterest made a tiny atch so it was really only fun for the two people making it and i wish i had followed my gut and bought more clear glue!

Atleast our drawing game was funny to watch! they all had to draw a picture of me on top of their head. (the original subject was an ocean picture but they said that was too hard. haha.) the winners got cute little prizes.

the winners.

haha i love that i have like, Merida hair in both of these.

all the activities i planned only ended up taking about a half an hour all together. and i spent WAY too much money. and only four people showed up...

the whole party was a failure.

But i still had tons of fun! 

and i love these guys! I'll be missing them come September.

moral of the story:

all the decorations and cute snacks in the world couldn't make a good party.

fun comes from people, not from streamers or pretzels.

focus on people 

and laugh. do lots of that.

America & Spiderman

welp guys, i'm super behind! 

Our Fourth of July was pretty chill, we went to Uncle Mark's to celebrate his birthday! He's a Liberty Baby.

we go there pretty much ever year to do little fireworks on the drive way and eat LOTS of cookies. and watermelon, of course.

I love this picture because it looks like film to me...but it's just my inferior phone camera :)

we went crazy with sparklers! there were like 50 boxes! 

I pretended like i was Harry Potter

and I even painted my nails! what!

And I spelled my name with sparklers. yomp.

that weekend we went to the Drive in!!

I love the Drive in! ours is one of the last left in the whole central valley, so it's always super packed. we went went our friends: the dish boys. and some other Madera YSA homies.

I really liked it! 

Andrew Garfield is a MILLION times better than Toby McGuire. the end.

And Even though i'm not a huge Emma Stone, The Help scored her major brownie points in my book. and she was good in The Amazing Spider Man too! way better than what's her face who played nasty Mary Jane Watson in the older movies.

oh yeah uhmm, btdubs?

I'm Superman, spidey kind of girl. None of this avengers, or wolverine nonsense.

tsk tsk america. 

oh and uhmm, we're cute. 

those are Marissa's Sunglasses. 

nice face Jono.

For...Posterity?

So i had a crazy habit at the end of junior year/beginning of senior year.

I found out how to make these things:

I don't know what they're called...

but i'm obsessed...

the coolest things about them is that they say something! It's the same word repeated eight times in a circle. the swirly above says my name! and then you fill in each empty space with designs!

and i saved all my favorite ones but i started packing up stuff that will probably stay in a closet for the rest of my life and i wanted to throw away things i know i would never use again.

so i took pictures of these swirly circle color things to document them so that i could throw them away guiltless-ly. taha.

the one in the upper left corner says, "MSHS"

the middle one says "ROYGBIV" red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. you know, el rainbow?

the orange-y one in the bottom left corner says "Psych"

the top right corner says..."poop"...ha. don't judge me.

the bottom right corner also says melissa!

this one says Ceramics. I made it while i was taking notes during my Ceramics class. taha.

AND now, for the signs.

same situation. I'm never going to use them again so i took pictures of them and threw them all away. 

Yeeeah Rory!

My friend rory Had like, a practice band show one summer so i made him a sign and went to go cheer him on because he is awesome and doesn't get all the fans he deserves.

Go Derek I'm your biggest fan!

This happened because Derek's senior volleyball night was coming up and i kept hearing all these girls talk about which seniors they were going to make signs for. and consequently i was barfing at every girl behind their back. So, just to spite them i made my own sign and guess who got the volleyball signed by the whole team? me! (only because i'm the little sister and he didn't want to feel guilty...taha...)

I <3 my dang freshy fresh

 ...once upon a time i was obsessed with a freshman boy who went on a picnic with me. He's adorable. and fourteen. and he played freshman baseball...haha so i made this sign for his game...

and it ended at that. bahaha.

THIS relic is from My civics class last semester. we had to make a poster explaining -in our opinion - the four most important amendments to the US Constitution.

I love me some America, guys.

But that civics class was...gosh...My teacher Mrs. Lepe-Vera was awesome! and she tried really hard to make the subject applicable to her students. and I am really interested in the economy and the government and the way our country works. 

I just. gah. i don't want to say anything rude.

I wish there was an Honors Civics and Econ class...

ANYway. 

 Ever heard of Strongbad? Homestarrunner? TRogdor? The Cheat?

NO?!

tsk tsk tsk.

well then this poster just makes zero sense to you! But i shal el be explain-in any-be-ways.

MArzipan and Strong sad are picketing. because they can. because the first amendment gives them the right to protest. Homestarrunner and Pom Pom are missionaries because the first amendment gives us religious freedom. the cheat is threatening to shoot coach Z for breaking into his house because the second amendment lets us have guns. The Poopsmith doesn't have to testify against the King of Town because the fifth amendment says he doesn't have to, dawgs! And Strongbad, Strongmad, Bubs and Trogdor are drinking adult beverages around a bonfire because the tenth amendment says that States can cover what isn't specifically stated in the US Constitution, like legal drinking ages.

It's probably the most Epic and satisfying posters i have ever done for school.

dig it.

The Many Faces of Melissa Hansen...

 My second Mom, Mrs. Dang Latimer made this poster for me when she presented me at CSF life member night. She's hilarious to have dug up a billion pictures of me making ugly faces in all my various roles. she also got me a Gryffindor Beanie. I dang love her. 

Go Sabes que!

 Sabes que? means "you know what?!" in spanish. My friend Taylor always said it so we (very few of us. ha.) started calling him that. so obviously that's what went on his sign for the MSHS v MHS game. which we won. anyway. when i held it up and screamed for him, Most people thought i was asking him to sadies because EVERYONE was asking everyone that night. and i guess sabes kind of looks like sadies. if you're not reading it. or if you are just blind...

and uhmm, yes, there is a calendar underneath the purple letters. i'm thrifty, sue me.

 I made this for the MHS game. and obviously, we won soooo it worked!

for CSF  life member we had to make a posterboard about ourselves. which i forgot about. so last minute i printed some cute pictures and elmers glued them to a board and colored a giant squiggly rainbow river connecting all the sections...don't judge me, i was still in Seuss mode.

 oh. yeah. this.

BAHAHA.

look REEeeeeeally closely at this one...notice anything...out of the ordinary?...

  

 the original picture was taken at Brandon's Birthday dinner and consisted of Brandon, His brother Brett, Jason and Stephen. and then Mona and I took a separate picture with Brandon but uhmm, for my CSF life member board i wanted a picture of the four of us where we weren't in sixth grade or painted purple at a football game. and prom hadn't happened yet, so i just...put myself...in this ...one... i did a pretty hurried, crappy job of it too. but luckily no one looked too closely at the spot where my hair is in front of brett's arm.... and luckily, Brandon laughed at it instead of thinking i was a total creep. ha.

and that's it!

Imma go eat some Ice cream on the roof with Derek. cool.

Reunion Sunday

I like that there was a random Derek Hansen Birthday monster on the wall of Pahranagant Valley High School. we have a cousin named Derek that goes there so there was a point to it...

After church and a sweet family testimony meeting we all ate one last big family dinner with everyone before people started saying goodbyes.

can I tell you a secret?
I LOVE Hiko.
But obviously, after 5 posts about one family reunion, you know that.
I kept thinking the entire weekend, "I wish i had more time with them" - meaning my family.
and then i remembered with a smile that i have FOREVER with these guys.
Forever.

that's a long flipping time. forever means no end.
no more goodbyes, no more missing my siblings across states or continents.
forever.
Thank God for forever families. literally.

And once it hit me that i have eternity with them, i just sat back and soaked it all in. all the smiles and the otter pops and the late night conversations under those awesome Hiko stars.

It was good.

Family is the best Love you'll ever get. The End.

After Dinner, we headed back to the ranch to pack up.

and say adios to the ranch again.

And chase. Because he's leaving in October to serve a mission for our church. I couldn't more proud of this kid. He's such a stud.

so we headed back to Cali-Four-nigh-A. not forgetting to say hey to our little Marty the Dinosaur friend.

the drive home was an adventure! We had to do search and rescue! our Uncle Freddy's car broke down so he drove home with my grandma and grandpa and my awesome southern cousin Jacob rode with us!

It was a full car party!

luckily, Natalie was subdued with the prince of Egypt. I'm so glad she got to come with us

During a long, awful bout of traffic, we sang disney songs, i read quotes from Harry Potter aloud while everyone else pretended to listen to me. And we taught Derek to french braid!

He loved it, obviously.

welp guys. we're done with reunion posts! sad for me, happy for you, i'm sure. ha. 

I already can't wait to go back.

You know what else i can't wait for?

COLLEGE. 

FLIP.

Owen & Lydia

Guess what? I have the cutest nieces and nephew on the planet.

I'm obsessed with them all.

But especially during the reunion, we all were obsessed. 

Little Caleb and Jenna couldn't come to the reunion this year, but we took Natalie because she's a big girl.

so since sweet Lydia and Owen were the center of everyone's attention over the weekend.

and needless to say, i took a bajillion pictures of them both. too too cute.

Lydia's got some pretty great expressions as well! look at that furrowed little face!

she's already gorgeous and she's only a year old! 

phillip better get a dang shotgun, he's gonna need to build a fence around this girl just to keep the riffraff off!

Precious little ones. I love them so stinkin' much! 

and I love ALL my nieces and nephews! 

Here's to secretly (okay, not so secretly...) hoping that Donny and Christine have a baby while they still live in Idaho so that i can obsess over their beautiful child as well ;)