thoughts on the first day of school

this what i was thinking during my classes today:

Teachings of the Living Prophets:
Okay, okay. I like this. alright, the teacher already knows my name. little weird. oh he has a sister named melissa. okay. less weird. 
then, when the same guy answered three questions in a row:
oh no, we've got a talker. Oh this guy is going to drive me nuts all semester. ohp AND he's got a gross mustache. great.
Professor: And I'd like each of you to bring your scriptures to class each day. your paper versions.
smart guy alex: oh, well I actually have the scriptures on my ipad, and I'm going to use that. i use my ipad to read the scriptures.
Professor: you used to use your iPad
hahahahahahahahahahaha smart guy alex, you're a loser, HAHA.

Book of Mormon:
I'm only waitlisted. WOW there are no empty seats. oh, there's a couple in the front...i'm not officially registered for this yet, will they be able to tell? okay, i'm doing it i'm sitting in the front. almost there. okay. no one stared. i'm good, i'm good. OH NO BOYS ARE SITTING NEXT TO ME.
ohp. one's cute. teehee.
Professor: So I've got the role here, and there are 13 people on the waitlist, but only the top 3 are going to get into the class, and only if they're here so, Jared are you here? yes. Daniel are you here? yes.

oh no, I'm number three on the waitlist! he's gonna say my name and i'm going to have to raise my hand. and everyone will look over at me. crap crap crap crap...

Professor: Melissa are you here?
*I raise my hand*
okay, it's alright, no one's paying attention. oooo, cute guy looked smiled at me.
well congratulations, you three are for sure in the class. welcome aboard.

then later,

Professor: why don't you turn to your neighbor and introduce yourselves?

okay i'm gonna casually glance to the side and see if cute boy is with anyone...alright...*casual glance* YES. he's free. i can make eye contact. Hi! I'm melissa!

cute boy: Hi! I'm Curits!
curtis? oh my gosh he's beautiful. but curtis? Now all I'm thinking of is curtis anderson.
I'm from Northern Colorado!
Cuuuuuuuurtis Anderson.
I'm studying to be an engineer.
me: that's cool! I knew that already.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
I mean, I'm not trying to be creepy or anything, it's just you have an engineering book under your chair and i noticed it when i was looking at you.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! FIX IT NOW
 to see if you had a partner already...
okay that's believable i guess. he smiled, so he probably doesn't think you're too bad. but you're still an idiot.
Curtis: I served a mission in Calgary Canada.
me: Canada! wow! that's awesome! when did you get home? curtis anderson curtis anderson curtis anderson
curtis: Last month, I'm fresh out of the field. this is only my second semester, i don't really know anyone here.
me: .....oh, you don't know anyone? you could get to you know...know me if you want.

me: I'm from Fresno, California! My brother served a mission in Colorado! I've got a few friends serving there too right now. got a bunch of friends all over actually
*curtis laughs*
OH MY GOSH HIS LAUGH IS PERFECT. HE LAUGHED AT ME. IM FUNNY. wait, that wasn't even funny. IT WAS A PITY LAUGH! UGH NO! 
I'm 18
why did you say that, now he knows you're an infant. DONT BE STUPID, MELISSA.
I'm an elementary Education major, but i'm actually thinking of changing to Marriage and Family. you know, going for that MRS degree.
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT, YOURE AN IDIOT. oh. oh wait, he's laughing. YOURE COMIC GOLD, HONEY KEEP GOING. holy cow his laugh is great. nice teeth. good hair. he looks clean. fresh RM. 

Professor: alright, let's wrap things up now...

Me: Well, Curtis it was great to meet you!
Curtis: You too, melissa! I'm sure it'll be a fun semester!
*i raise my hand for a hand hug. he high fives*
Me: be cool be cool, he didn't know. Oh...I was going for a little...
*I wiggle my thumb to suggest a hand hug* you're an idiot, melissa. a complete idiot.
Curits: Oh! I'm sorry...
*laughs*
 kill me
...there we go, much better
*completes hand hug*
we touched. it's fate.

I spent the rest of the class trying to keep my hair out of my face so Curtis would have a clear view. you know. of mah face an stuff. in case he was looking at me. and i tried real hard not let it show on my face that i was dying every time he laughed. kill me. those eye wrinkles.

-monday april 22
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This morning in book of mormon i knew i had to redeem myself. I got there a few minutes before class, and so did curtis so i was thinking of clever things to say. I had a good pudding joke worked out so i turned to talk to him but then the teacher started class. rats.
then.
TTYP. Turn to your partner

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

So we had our ten minute discussion on Nephi and obedience and faith. that was great. He had good insights and It always feels good to have your thoughts echoed by someone else, yeah?
and then after class ended i took my time packing up so i could walk with him. but he was taking forever and i didnt want to be obvious. you know. so i left. but once i got in the hall i walked reeeeallly slowly. and slowly down the stairs and slowly out the doors and slowly down the steps of the building and slowly down the sidewalk. no cute curtis. I casually glanced around and he was nowhere. bummer. so i stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk to see if he has gone up toward the Ricks building or something. i stopped. turned around. and immediately made eye contact with a tall guy about ten feet behind me.
yup.
it was him.
cute curtis.
in the following five seconds i:
my eyes popped out of my head and i gasped out loud. embarrassed, i literally pulled my hand in front of my face to shield my red face and turned around saying, "oooo" under my breath in despair.
meanwhile he had seen my face, laughed and then looked at the ground to stifle his laugh, then started to look back up at me with a dang smirk on his face and one of his eyebrows cocked and a his hand sloppily hiding the fact that he was still trying not to laugh at me. it was straight out of a movie, his face. but i didn't want to catch his eye again so i turned around and sped walk like a yoga mom until i got to my dorm.

clearly, i'm not going to have a boyfriend any time soon.
I don't know how to behave around boys i actually have crushes on. and then when i'm around boys that are just my guy friends, i'm fine.

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Also, on another note:
I'm feeling a lot better. I was really, really REALLY homesick for the past week. Mozart, prayer and journaling do the soul some good.